(updated July 2015)
I would like to write my own version of the stages and add a lot of information that is not given to you on other twin flame sites.
Before you meet, a series of strange occurrences will happen. This is how the Universe tells you it is supposed to happen. There will be these synchronious coincidences that make no sense. This person will be hovering around you and you may even feel them.
The first stage is meeting and true connection. (After reading so many articles, it seems that this is a great preview of where you can end up over years of work if you really buckle down and take yourself apart and rebuild your core during separation.) The feeling that you get from them will be like no other person. The energy is high, you are totally drawn to them, you work in perfect tandem and trust them with your life in a very short period of time. Things begin to go very fast because you realize that you were looking for this person for a really long time. You will feel beyond love, a love so strong that you feel as if you met God. THEY ARE THE ONE! Unconditional love! You will not be jealous of their past as you lived it too, you just don’t know that yet. They will be the exact complement of you, gender not an issue. You will mirror unconditional love until your normal set of behaviors kicks in. You have relationship behaviors that have followed you through many relationships. During this relationship, you will find out what they are.
Second/third stage. Doubting/ fighting/bad mirroring. You are preprogrammed to fight true love based on fear that others have taught you or that you have experienced yourself. You will have insecurities as will your partner and you will both do something spiking them and you will get upset at each other because they hurt your wound. That is why people fight. Their wounds aren’t healed. These insecurities rise up in second/third stage and before you know it your angel has become the devil. What the heck? Why are they being a jerk?! What you don’t understand is that they don’t have the same script as you for what is ok and not ok behavior and they will go outside of this script (of perfection) and the balance will fall off. As you are both the truest mirror of the other, you see them acting up and you will act up as well. They are distant, so are you and before you know it someone is moving seven states away.
Fourth stage is separation. You cannot make it work because the energy has gotten so wound in fear and twisted around confused perceptions, that the unconditional love is not being felt. One will act as the pull and the other will push away. You are magnets and magnets have two sides. One attracts and one repels. During this stage you are repelling the other because your second/third stage insecurities are still not worked through. Hence the labels, runner and chaser. One runs away, the other tries to pull them back.
It is at this point, where this should be split via label and no one does this.
For the chaser, they are unable to comprehend why their love won’t fight and stay. They go through amazing pain being ripped away from their other. They have to hit the wall and accept that their other’s path has left theirs. This is also when things get very hairy if they watch what their twin does from afar because they will do some very unbelievable things (and with lightning quickness) that they are just not prepared for. Again, they can only embrace acceptance. There will be a mourning period of constant pain. Once the chaser has hit the wall of complete powerlessness, they seek guidance and pull themselves out of this hole. This is where surrender, stage five, starts for the chaser. They realize that there is nothing that they can do and also realize they must let go and let the Universe handle it.
For the runner, they have absolutely no interest in being a part of something so crazy and run as far and as fast as they can. There seems to be many precursors to this and one will see the runner begin to run before they have actually ran. They will start being distant, questioning the relationship, and ultimately they will just not respond to the chaser. The decision has been made. They’re running away.
This is where both must do work on their core beliefs. This relationship is so intense that even a regular fight would bring a person to their knees in fits of ravishing pain. Neither the runner nor the chaser are at fault, it is the both of them not understanding that they must grow themselves into stronger souls to handle this type of energetic exchange.
During separation was when I had my interest piqued with what could I do to make this shorter. There isnt much you can do, but you can alleviate your pain. Going through levels of acceptance about yourself, your twin, control, internal behavioral switches and emotions help with getting out of what many refer to as ‘the dark night of the soul.’ This spiritual path will bring you to pain so deep that you have no choice, but to find where your wounds are and heal them. Otherwise, you will remain in continual pain and may not correctly align with your twin later. Separation is messy, depressing, confusing and even moreso because now you are energetically attached to this other being who wants nothing to do with you. Even if six months prior, they wanted to marry you and live together for the rest of your lives.
Separation is essential for both sides to work on themselves. It is important to understand that this must happen. IF you were to stay together, the insecurities would keep arising, making the relationship weaker and weaker. We are now understanding that twins are toxic to each other until they make it through a full separation, each going about understanding what their unenlightened points are be it insecurities, weaknesses, open emotional wounds, fear-based behaviors and breaking them/healing them. No blame can be put on either side as both work in tandem. DO NOT BLAME YOUR TWIN. NEITHER OF YOU ARE READY YET!!!!
If things were not worked through with yourself or your twin in separation and you reunite, you will repel each other again. So separation is absolutely essential. Neither side comes into this relationship without issues. This is what the twin flame relationship is for. For each to become a strong soul that can later on work with their twin to help others and ultimately ascend. It is said that when the twins reunite, it feels like not a day has passed. That’s because it really hasn’t. You are both connected on such a tight metaphysical scale that you were never truly apart. You were always together. Separation is an illusion. You are just reuniting in what is your perception of the physical.
Everything goes SUPER FAST during this union right from the start and separation is no different. Going through levels of acceptance that what is in your present life is what you must be grateful for is essential. The past is now the past and you are here in the present. This is when that feeling becomes present, the feeling of dull aching. Each twin will feel it always and they will never feel the same again. They cannot reverse time and go back. They are stuck with it. Distractions and focus both help with the dull ache.
The fifth stage of surrender is nice way of saying “Stage four, but I will be OK.” During surrender one starts looking at what is really important to themselves. What can one do to pass time? What would I like to do? What do I want to do? What would make me happy? Many people think that they must have their twin with them, but they need to address these questions to understand wholeness and move into a place of true power, confidence and happiness.
The sixth stage is illumination/radiance. This is the stage in which each twin allows their egos to die. It is similar to how they hit a wall during separation, they are just hitting a new one. Each one of their behaviors has to be fine tuned to only accept and send love. They have got to embrace that love is the only answer to everything, even in the toughest of moments. Unconditional love begins to seep through all of their actions, ultimately guiding both of the twins back to each other.
Reunion/ Harmonization is seventh stage when the twins come together without false core beliefs and behaviors marring their perceptions of the other. Their souls can process higher energy and allow for the twins to be themselves as they are. Unconditional love will be felt once again.
The stages are essential to grow. There is no skipping a stage. Each one must go through them.