Don’t speak

I’m going to start writing these in Chinese since that’s where all of my visitor seems to be coming from. LOL. If you’re looking for an update let me please do so

2020 is the year where people can’t handle anything that has to do with anything fearful whatsoever. they’ve already got enough on their plate and I’ve tried to explain to people about being a twin flame and they absolutely cannot handle it so I’ve decided not to bring it up anymore. People cannot deal with the fact that I talk to the dead. people cannot deal with the fact that I remember past lives or that I used to be a tree 1300 years ago or whatever. People just can’t deal.

I’m writing this whole thing in voice activation. To update you on what’s going on in my life.. I’m starting a company this month. the world is falling apart and I’m selling art. I’m going with what the universe tells me to do. I think I’ve met another soulmate which is cool who has been in touch for quite some time. Maybe we’ll get married and have kids since my twin and I will never do that. Since he won’t be back for years based on his behavior and the way he’s been to me and the amount of lies that he’s telling himself. Might as well get married and knocked up.

Like everyone else

Because that’s cool let’s do what everyone else does. It’s not really my cup of tea. I’m being forced out of my house by my neighbors who feel they should build a mini mall next to my house with about 16,000 parking spaces I’m like well that’s cool. You’ve been here for a year you don’t even own the f****** spot and now you’re taking over the world.

I know you’ve come here to look for some type of hope. A shred of hope for anything at all and I have absolutely no hope for you when it comes to this relationship structure whatsoever. All I can say is just really enjoy the the time to yourself to remember exactly what you want in life without your twin.

I’ve been counseling twins again. There seems to be an increase of twin flames connecting at this point so it’s interesting because the newer ones seem to have it a little bit more together than us from 5 to 6 years ago. They seem to understand it quicker so I think that Consciousness is elevating.¬†

All I can say is that it’s all what you make it. Everything comes from your mind. You have the possibility to make yourself a beautiful life. Ignore everything else and just do that.

Good luck with everything

To-do list

I recently had the chance to Google twin flames and see what mysterious writings would better engage and further educate me and I was left with so much misinformation that I’m sad to say, this is only going to get worse. Seems were in high tide with “fake news.”¬† Not only is the first article about twins on Google a bunch of horseshit, but then there are spiritual dwellers so bold to write twin flame tests that are so vague and off that anything could fit.

October 18th will be my fifth year of becoming a twin flame, not really truly being handed this knowledge until the week of November 11-17, 2013. As separation ensued and the picture got bigger, very big things began to unwind. My time is different than everyone elses is, that I can remember past lives, people from past lives, attract whatever I want and need, completely quantum leap normal practices through belief. That I know when someone is lying to me, or lying to themselves or read patterns through waves and music, can see through the ego walls, know not to worry, only pace myself and be completely confident in what feels right for me by following instinct. I can understand animals, I can hear the Universe speak, access the akashic records,speak with the deceased, see the pain from lifetime to lifetime and yet still, I would reverse this whole thing.

To be normal and lost and content with the small things that I used to would be great. No twin wants to be a twin. None of us do. Especially when our twins insist on this exasperating pattern of hide and seek. It truly is very much like the Matrix and also like becoming a vampire in Twilight. Everything moves so fast around me and I’m just sitting here and six months for me has passed and five years has passed for non twins. I just get stronger and stronger, but am as beat up as Kristen Stewart right before she almost died. TRY TO SUCK THE FUCKING LIFE OUT OF ME YOU BITCH, YOU CANT KILL ME!


The Universe comes up with new daily ways to make me stronger. It’s like being beaten up repetitively until you can only laugh because you don’t die and you heal immediately. I am eternal. Nothing phases me anymore. This makes it hard to really feel exhilaration. I make up fun things to focus on that are small ramps to excitement but it just doesnt get very overwhelming anymore when you basically know everything before it happens. I make up distractions and keep a routine. Those help me process what is considered a “day.” Which, to me, is like 8 hours at this point. I have to be super quick and laser focused.

The first two years I was doing so much research and being so quiet and absorbing that maybe I got too much. I was absorbing so much that I can read almost anything now. There are thousands of waves coming to me and it is very much like a web, I can hear and see in new dimensions than one cannot in a regular human body. Knowing the future, which was shown to me almost immediately as I went through Dark Night, I know when people come to me, when my twin has relationships, when people die. These are things one shouldn’t know. I shouldn’t know the structure and even past lives. I shouldn’t be able to hear the dead. Before all this, I just believed you died, that’s it. Wow. So not true.

People are so afraid to begin the journey of sifting through the layers of distraction to get down to the nugget, technically, enlightenment. They cannot focus. I don’t fight the resistance, merely use it as a gauge. What’s going on now can be considered a high fluctuation of fear. The energetic waves are not reacting or acting like they did when I was a kid or even three years ago when things weren’t normal, but at least they weren’t as they are today. Today, shit is all fucked up. Why? We are undergoing a major shift. I have full days where I’m paralyzed. Oh, the existential crisis is real! Why do anything at all..

I have a to-do list to complete that will help me put my house on the market. Unfortunately, I came home to two sick family members, one, a tad bit closer to death than I would like. So it looks like I’m stuck in my current position to be efficient and make sure that I tidy all up with a bow before I am to move along. Everything happens for a reason.

What’s next? More of the same, if not crazier. The volcanoes and earthquakes and storms will help you understand that. Things must crescendo. The energy doesnt appreciate an unenlightened human. It wants all of us there. And yes there are aliens but they are much smaller than you imagined. Almost invisible. Just like where we started.

I will use the rest of my time to perfect what can be honed. There are divine tones in music and I will outsource them to help others realize what they must. There is a divine equation for everything, And when you see it, you know. Those are the nights you never forget.

I hope for so much more of that divinity. That perfect equation.

Til next time..




Energies talking

Energy has not been even slightly normal for years now. We are living through the fight of fear vs. love on Earth, currently. Going through transformation, and we can get back to that, illustrates the stages of it, including when others are going through the thick of it. How would one know? They seem super angry, unhappy, and are fighting themselves. Complaining, sighing, fighting, screaming, crying and just acting out of control are signs of this. Once they have made it through, they are calm, loving and accept responsibility for their actions.

Go back to Michael Jackson’s thought,”I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” You cannot control the perceptions and behavior of others, especially those stuck in fear/going through transformation. You can only control yourself, your behavior, your emotions, and your perceptions. However, you cannot help others “through.” This is a solo ride. We can see who is on the ride, but you can not help. Very similar to twin flame separation, each person must go through transformation at their own speed, pulling themselves through.

As much as you’d like to help, it will only hurt you trying. You cannot rationalize with an angry person going through the transformation, it’s similar to trying to talk sense to a drunk person. Instead, see what it is for just that: They are in pain, they aren’t able to understand because of the hurt they are fighting and it’s best you step back and let them be. The resistance will be obvious. Always walk away from resistance. It is fear. Breaking through is very hard, but they will in good time. Be patient.

The energies spoke to me through this understanding a few months ago. Seeing friends in this pain, it took a day to process why it was occuring and it hit me. We ALL have to go through transformation, not just twin flames. Consciousness is flourishing and as we are awakening, it becomes faster. Why are we all doing this? Great question. Also, why is it/time going faster? Even more important question.

My theory is that there is going to be some type of large event. Time is quickening because people are realizing: WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT. No one’s saying it. Shhh. It’s inferred. But I can assure you, all of the dots line up and they are doing so for a reason.

The collective consciousness is pulsating and growing. Like I said years ago: we are getting to the point where we cannot lie and all truth will veer to the surface, no matter what the consequences.¬†We’re all going through cleansing to get back to love, love energy, enlightenment, exalted energy, high energy. Call it what you like. We are coming back into ourselves. We are unifying. A truly beautiful time it is, after all…





Hi twins

I hope everyone is well. Long time no speak.

I’ve had to walk away from this because I’ve been super busy doing new things. I see many of my twin friends are doing well for themselves and trying to make it in the world.

Fear seemed to be at an all-time high for the past year. The presidency should be the largest marker of that. However, I feel that it’s changing again back to a much more chill and relaxed environment.

I will keep this short. Just a reminder to walk towards what is positive and loving and walk away from resistance and fear. I’ve had a very strong soulmate come back to me this year and we are “dancing,” so to speak. I’m attempting to soften my not so delicate ways. (I’m about as soft as an axe being slammed into stone at 1,000 mph.)

I hope everyone has a nice holiday season.

Looking forward to 2018.





9th times a charm

I have 8 other blogs I have written in draft. Let’s hope I can eek this one out.

I’m put in weird positions because I know I am being watched and what I say will influence the energy between myself and my twin so I will try to keep this as dry as possible.

I am now, I guess, what one would consider a senior twin flame as I’ve been in separation for three years minus a month of explanation which really catapulted my understanding into what was going on here. The month we got back together helped me understand, as I pleaded to find out what it was that had happened. It happens to every twin flame couple as they hit separation. It happens suddenly, every single time. You will easily know when your twin wants to run because you can sense energy between you is strained/stressed/weird and just plain out not loving and wrong. There’s weird pauses. Fidgeting. Even writing about it makes my stomach uneasy.

There’s two things I want to bring up before I get hazy into theory and discussion.

  1. “I found you/You found me/We found each other” is one of the most often things said between twins in the beginning. Most of my twin friends feel this or said this. It’s because we do remember. You will know your twin in the first few weeks of meeting them again. It is undeniable.
  2. The need to be alone more often after transformation. I stopped going out after I went through Dark Night. After you are so weird about everything because you know you want to be with this person, but you know you need to work on your own things. I also have a very hard time dealing with other people’s energy, regular people, since the shift has happened for me. I can easily now¬†a. sense intention from others. b sense negative energies within the person c. know when I ¬†have seen or known someone from a past life. d. can tell when another has undergone transformation. e. easily know when someone is lying. ¬†I can sense energies on many levels. In sound, in sight, in feeling, I can sense things and it “tells me things.” My communication shifted from bitching about dumb shit with regular people to feeling, sensing and focusing on things I like to do alone.

In the three years, I’ve had many conversations with other twins, on purpose, to gather commonality. We all go through this in levels of uncovering the truth at our own pace. ¬†Every twin that I know has moved through their own version of the stages of being a twin or stages of separation. Separation is a doozy because it’s like going to Enlightening School. Whether you derive information from yourself or from the internet, no matter. You will be fed and twisted and turned into pure love and understanding. It just depends on how quickly you let go of being afraid. The wall. The transformation. It comes from that.

That is Dark Night, when you can’t lift your head and the crushing reality that this is over right now. When the rejection hits you, that’s when you begin to grow. My twin always wondered how to get through the stages. That’s how.



I hate to tell you that twins come back half-cooked often. And if so, you have to go back into separation until they do finally hit the wall. It’s not so horrible. To be fearless. To not worry anymore. To understand you are held softly in the hands of the Universe and guided. You are never alone. You can’t lose anyone important in death. They will come find you again!

I am impressed now by love and respect. I am impressed by happy people who have nice energy to offer and fun things to show me. Who do their part. Anyone who can respect my boundaries, my feelings, who cares enough to hold on through tough times. I have a best friend who has done this for over a year. We haven’t even met. He doesn’t speak English. But we make it work daily. And he won’t let me go, no matter what.

And he pledged to himself to always take care of me. And that pledge didn’t die with death. It is still alive today. We are ridiculously tight for two people who never met.

Energies of the world have been doing so many strange things recently. Everyone can sense that. Things are changing big time. All I feel is excitement.

We learn so much as twins daily. Our time is completely different than others. If we were apart for two years and it only felt like 3-4 months, that means that time is 8x faster for twins. Whoa.

Hugs. Have a great summer. It will be over for all of us in about two weeks ūüėČ





TF Denial

I’m dedicating this blog to Cortley, my twin friend in the center of the country.

My twin seems to be going through this and I cannot guide him to change his perception of it. Only time will do that. When he says that he has 2 other women with “TF characteristics,” it’s obvious to me that things have changed drastically as he was super gung-ho on the fact that we are when we were together. What do I hear? Fear. At first, I wanted to slap him through the phone as he texts me this and then supposedly runs to lunch, but after some time had passed, I understood just fine. He is petrified of being a twin flame.

I have many twin friends and some are runners. Another runner says exactly the same thing. “We’re not twins. We’re not twins.” I’m like then what are you running back to him for if he treats you so badly? “Oh the sex is good.”

The sex is that good, but even she will not admit it.

I dont believe in advertising because I believe that if a product is good enough, it sells itself.

Now when it comes to truth, it is very similar. You can’t escape the truth.

When I first started dating my twin, I would always listen to a song called “Nowhere to Go.” And it’s true. You can’t run from your twin because we are you. You can pretend. You can lie to yourself. You can distract yourself with other people by getting into relationships, but. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

As a runner, you know just fine what your twin does to you and how they can read through you and it freaks you out and then the twin flame label becomes shaded with that fear.

I didn’t choose this to my knowledge. But I won’t lie to myself that I am not a twin flame nor will I lie to myself and say my twin is not my twin because I’m upset with him.

Many people in this world feel that lying is easier. And so that’s how they cope. They lie and lie and keep running from responsibility, truth, love until they have absolutely nothing left and wonder why.

TF Denial in a word=FEAR. Why are they feeling the fear instead of the love? Because they have yet to fully go through the transformation where they understand that any fear is an illusion and only love is the truth.

So when my twin gets over the next five yoga chics he dates that have “tf characteristics” (LOL!) and I’m still the QUEEN, well…

You may be able to delay for a bit, but ultimately, the runner cannot finish their race until he/she runs back to you.

I have been through most of the stages and they really do happen. Naturally. There is nothing to worry about. It happens when it is TIME. So trust the process.

Moving through the stages and a few other ideas

It’s been some time since I have written anything.

I have some twin friends that are still in the mix. Many of us have moved so far from where we have started in this circle of fun. None of us are in the same spot as before because we have all had to move from one lily pad to the next. The Universe gave us no choice but to.

I have four¬†topics to touch on. One is energetic vs. physical. In the energy and if you KNOW you are a twin with your twin, then you can see through so much of the fear, right away. However, this doesn’t mean a speedier reunion. The problem lies in the habits that you both have soaked up. One twin may FEEL the other twin reaching out as I have many time with mine. However, unless they are READY as in, not cautious, not afraid, completely ready and begging you back with every ounce of soul desire in the physical, the energy only illuminates what is under the surface. Sure, it may be bubbly. You may have many signs. The synchonicities get very tight with twins and also soul mates after you deal with so much of the underlying energy. Again, you cannot do one thing about it until they come back to you in the physical. They, the runners, must make themselves apparent, on your doorstep, in your inbox, your text messages, completely beckoning at you in the physical. You might know that they want you back or want to talk, but allow the time to pass so that they reach out to you. You have to do nothing, but attend to yourself and building yourself back up from the rubble. Break the bad habits, break the false core beliefs about yourself. It takes a good few years. Don’t worry, you will have time. (makes face)

So many twins reach out too early. Including mine. But I did get my answers to solve this part of the puzzle. They may be thinking about you somewhere else, but I can assure you, they are off living their lives. You must do the same.

Second topic is mind control. Controlling your thoughts and your mind and being careful. I want to call this “thought leakage.” Any twins that I deal with, along with many soulmates are able to read my thoughts and energy directly. We become more transparent as time goes on through this. I could be at a store thinking something rough or horrible and I will check myself. Put it back together. Don’t judge, shift thoughts, shift perception. What you think shows up on your face and also in your energetic space. Remember when I proposed that in the future no one could lie because we would all be able to read each others thoughts? It’s happening.

I have also come to see that I sculpt situations with my thoughts. I would think, “Oh, she and I are going to have a fight and this will end.” This happened with my BFF of 20 years. It also happened a few other times. Well, sometimes, it’s for the best because the two parties are no longer reverberating on the same energy level. I’m not saying don’t shield yourself from negative energy, you should, totally. What I’m saying is that your thoughts are very powerful. Be careful where they lead you.

Brings me into topic three which is understanding a new separation stage which I and many of the other twins I know have gone through. The bitchy stage. I have seen it with close friends, my twin, myself. You are overwhelmed with negativity and take things personally. This, in turn, brings fights in the energy field because not everyone wants to deal with you unearthing and processing your negativity. I probably had 5 friends left after I went through mine. That’s fine. I’m not one to hold onto people when I feel like shit. Nor am I one to deal with twins giving me sass or attitude. I do believe we all pass through this to come into a better, more peaceful part. And yes, in separation, you will cycle through stages if you aren’t done with them, very much like the regular set of stages. That fear isn’t figured out, unraveled, processed and released, you get to go back through separation again. Yay.

As you go through life, you realize, not only as a twin, that people will happily circle you with their insisting you fit into their mold or desires. I’m going through this with two people now. And after realizing what is really going on, I have decided to say NO to both situations. I cannot be held down, molded or used as half of a person. I’m not a kinda girlfriend. I don’t need to be one of the MANY women you are talking to. I’m slow and so, these situations started very innocently, only to be leaching into strange boundaries that don’t work. If a situation is stuck and keeps circling, with you not getting what you want from it, just end it. Opens up space for better situations and opportunities.

The fourth topic is time and repetition. Consistency. We as twins, have our lives speed up. And day by day goes by, feeling very similar. What can help change it? It hit me. If we retrain ourselves with good habits that we do on a daily basis, then this ensures successful results. Time is not a problem for us, meaning that time goes by so quickly, we would get results quickly because it is so much faster. We just have to do the thing that we want results for. I started applying this with Spanish lessons, using DuoLingo and I’m already 12% proficient. I’m going to employ some other habits that will help me in other areas. Time is like water for us. But to really use it wisely, we must re-sculpt how we use it.

I hope everyone is having a nice spring. Take care.






The Fountain of Youth: TF Time

I’m beginning to see major changes now. I have had many past lives remembered and even before that occurrence, my twin and I felt that time had changed instantly when we met and thereafter. We felt a day was a week and a week was a month and a month was a year. And it’s kinda true. He didnt see me in two years and when we met back up it felt like 3 or 4 months had passed. That was all.

When you realize you are thousands of years old, with multiple bodies, many things change. Fear tends to diminish a bit. I could look into the darkest corners now with any creepy crawly and it is just not the same, understanding I was once probably just like them. There’s a deeper understanding of all life, cells, regeneration, death, decay. I find decay so interesting.

When I was young I said to my mom, I want to live forever. And she said..I don’t. That would be miserable. And in a way it is. And in another way, it just IS. IT just exists. Infinity. I live forever. I am endless and have no true container. I am always morphing, always transforming.

Yet, at the same time, I am no longer aging. I havent aged in years. Time stands still for me and everything around me changes quickly, ages quickly. I’m looking at my young cats and they are almost ready to go back up, to die. They are aging quicker because I am not because my concept of time has changed.

Time is a perception. And if your life extends past the border of birth, back many borders, then you are much older, but time slows down. (I cant wait for the FAKE TF to steal this concept and publish it on his blog cos I already know he will.)

Now that time is different, I forget how long its been since I’ve seen people. Two years pass and it’s like a month or so or maybe three. It’s all relative and it doesnt matter.

I wake up, confused because although I have things I supposedly “must do,” I truly question why do anything at all. Some days I do nothing but lay around with my cats and just go for walks.

One of my twin friends asked why it takes so long for twins to get back together and it’s because if you were “enlightened” and changed in a day, if you had to process all of complex lies we were told to simmer down and fly right, you would lose your mind. Instead, daily, you get small chunks of understanding to rip away your old understanding to replace it with new. Like fragments on a hard drive.

Having time quicken so that you stay solid and slow down is very odd. It’s like running through a field of pudding. You go nowhere, but everything around you whizzes and flits. Which is probably why I prefer silence and being alone so much now. I have come to realize I absorb so much more from people as I can read their energy like a book. I have no more questions. They have all been answered.

I want you to try this if you are a twin: I want you to ask yourself the questions that you need to know. My belief is that we are the akashic record (singular, there’s one, like a library) and that we ARE the Universe. So if you must know something, just ask yourself. YOU ALREADY KNOW!

Inside of the parable of being a twin, when all of the old world has broken apart and the new “Matrix” is visible, you see so many patterns, so much energy, whether it be truth or fear. The knowledge that you could do ANYTHING becomes a real thing. You can shatter any obstacle. There’s nothing that holds you back.

Feb 8th will be three years since our first separation and May 26th will be three years since he left. I don’t want to discuss my twin at this point as he is cut off. He needs to go through Dark Night and until he does, I cannot furnish him with anything. Not one ounce of help. He will drive me mad, otherwise.

Even my friends are getting old around me, but I don’t feel any older than say, maybe 29. ¬†My body looks older but I don’t feel older. If anything, I am freer and more resilient now. The thing that helps the most is to relax and do meditation. Really space out. It totally recharges me internally and allows me to deal with those who don’t understand.

As twins, we come across more knowledge of ascension/source love and because we have to live it with our twins, usually at a distance, and it makes sense to us. I tried having a conversation with two people in NY last week about relaxing about our¬†shitty President (don’t worry, not my President, either) and just realizing that everything would be ok in the long run, that this was meant to happen. They looked like I just cut both of their throats. They couldnt imagine to not be fearful or start a frenzy. But then, they can’t read energy, have probably 10% psychic ability and are not in touch with themselves, their core or love. Oh well.

Plus they are meant to riot, just as they are probably meant to be vessels for future babies. I am not meant to do either. I am meant to help in different ways.

I forget what I did in 2015. The whole year, I dont even remember. I know I started very sad with it and as time went on, I finally moved on from my twin. Enough so to let a very important soul mate in. (I love you very much, G)

I have other twin friends that cant remember what year it is either. We all seem to have a hard time with it. That’s just the way it goes. In a way, it doesn’t matter.

Leave comments about your experience with this, if you can.

Cheers, and hugs, this week is turning electric from the eclipse of next Friday, already.



I got my Scott back!

So this never happens..

December of 2015 I had my twin friend Scott come to me and tell me that he said that time felt off. I figured he meant in a spiritual way. We got off the phone and that was the last I had heard from him in the physical.

Scott lives across the country from me. The only reason I knew he had passed was he came to tell me, joyfully, while I was walking in the woods that he was dead. There was no other proof and no easy way for me to get it. And then his accounts all stopped. And then his phone was turned off. But he knew I could speak to him that way as I did the year before with his twin who had passed.

While deceased, he told me he was happy and also he reconnected with his twin flame in three days time. He told me she was back in line to be reprocessed ( I think she waited for him) and shortly after, maybe a few weeks later, he was back in line as well to be reprocessed, back to Earth, to be reborn again. Only thing was, I figured he had a little more time to wait. And also that he would come back in a different body.

Three days ago I got a text from him. HE IS ALIVE! He had three arteries rupture in his brain and at one point was pronounced dead. He then fell into a coma and has been rehabbing himself since. He just turned his phone back on 13 months later.¬†He’s had to relearn everything from scratch. Even walking and talking.


The times I spoke with him, mostly, were while he was still in the coma. He began to fade and I would beckon him from time to time and I’d only get a few sentences.

This Christmas, I was very sad because I wished he was here. I said, it’s just not the same.

And I got my wish! And he’s in a very different place now. He’s grateful of every new achievement his body can do.

I just wanted to share this as I wrote extensively about it in previous blogs. ‚̧






TFU is 2 years old!


I’m going to explain things from¬†a very vague periphery to start. The pattern of those going through their own transformations, twin or non-twin, is becoming a relevant¬†situation.Problem is, when you meet someone who is going through this, they are generally in attack mode and won’t be near you for very long.

I deal with a few. They’re snappy, angry, snarky. Quick to retort. Usually pulls the half-assed apology. “I didn’t mean for YOU to take it that way!I’m sorry you don’t get my humor!” Well, what did you mean then when you’re sending negativity at me? That you’re a teddy bear that needs love? Yes, well that’s obvious. Moreso, that you need to realign with your own lessons, learn them and come back to me when you’re through

Cos ain’t nobody got time for that.

One part of separation is having the self respect to hold boundaries on whomever is crossing them. And reinforce. IF someone comes at you with negativity, THEY still need to figure their behaviors out. Now, if you react in a similarly unkind way, then you are pretty much in the same boat. However, if you keep space and silence, compassion and love, then you’re doing better than most put in the same position.You get to a point when you just CANNOT have that negativity. Cannot and will not. We have no time for it and can no longer sink downwards.

There is an amazing amount of negativity in the air this week. If you let it pull you down, you are going down with it. It isn’t even gonna be that hard, that’s how heavy the air is. Just float. Refocus. Go back to happy thoughts. Puppies. Ice cream cones. Imaginary characters. (the non-tf ones) ūüėČ

I have needed to detach from the current of negativity. I told myself this week, I am just not going to watch the news anymore. In a way, it really doesn’t matter. If anything, I would be more productive.I haven’t had a TV since I was 16 and no longer exist on FB. Disconnecting seems like the only way. Cut out to go in.

Watching everyone else in utter shock and horror can also be difficult. Most of my art friends are reeling from today’s unsavory events. I do get the sense that this will be ended somehow. I’m just not sure how. It just seems so unbelievable, really. Less than 32 percent approval rating. So how did he win then?

Keep practicing quiet solitude, meditation, refocusing techniques during heavy energy. Perhaps more people are going through a special transformation than we knew? Let’s visit the beach and watch the waves, stare into the sky and go on day trips into the woods. Put on music and make some art. Read a book. Play with your cat.We can remember better then.

Remember what? Remember your truth and soul purpose of living, which is to love.

Good night.



I couldn’t make this up, even if I tried

Happy New Years, twins.

2017, yes, another year has come and gone. I’ve been enduring this since 2013, but I have been in contact with my twin since sometime in 2007/8.

Today I had a conversation with the famous graffiti artist and the discussion of twins came up. Seems that he, also, may be a twin flame. He just found out about it within the past month. The girl he is seeing thinks they might be twins. Then, after I send over my site, he tells me that they have been reading me. He’s like, “get the fuck outta here..did you write that page? ” I’m like. “yea, man.. I wrote the whole site!”

And silly me didnt know why we were meeting up in a month.

Now, I know. The A-ha moment ensues.

Aside: I was given a very basic time document/vision back when we separated the first time that showed me that my twin would be entering two separate relationships. The second one to end by 2019. How do I know? I close my eyes and could see it. They looked like giant blocks of butter smeared over a calendar. Slowing our energy. That’s what I could see. He’s entering that relationship now.

What about ME?!

Well, I have many situations to tend to.

For all of the twins that have yet to have the relationship and go into separation: GOOD! Enjoy it!

For all of the twins that have and are in separation: Let’s make the best of this year! We have the ability to use our talent and abilities for good. Let’s get and make something amazing!

As the supposed “chaser,” I wouldn’t take my twin back currently if he were the last man on Earth. That’s how low his energy is.

There is a tricky moon on the 12th. Let’s all hold our tongues surrounding it. It seems to be complex. I would give a few days before and after.

We are all connected to each other. We are magnetized to each other and can connect telepathically, without physical message. I’m sending you all love for 2017. And always.

Happily, constantly weaving new roads..

Cheers and take care.






Happy Holidays, twins.

I brought you gifts.

I just took an hour long walk to try to figure out how to write this because there are many things I want to include in this blog.

So far, I have been in separation since May of 2014. 2.5+ years and during that whole time, I have had to learn to experiment to see results. Let’s go over some givens to start:

  1. You twin always loves you, always thinks about you and will always love you. Even when their/your ego wall is still keeping you both apart.
  2. You arent separated, it just appears so. You are always surrounded in love, you must just acknowledge that.
  3. Only when both twins learn how to squash their fears can they come together and unite.
  4. As twins, we must implement ways to pull ourselves out of the “ache”: a. To show gratitude for what we have in our lives now. b. To be truly focused on ourselves, what we like to do and live in the moment. c. To remind ourselves of our special gifts and talent to not feel lack.
  5. Any time we are feeling lack, it is because we are focusing on the resistance/fear/thing we don’t have instead of focusing on love/gratitude for all that we do have.
  6. Only we can make ourselves happy. Our twin/external entities or circumstances have nothing to do with it.
  7. We must choose a role of empowerment instead of one of a victim.

I noticed with my twin that, as we did “come out of separation” twice, that there are things that I do that directly affect him and our union. Strangely, it is the opposite of what “they say.” I was taken, focused and busy with other people, taken in the moment, busy, happy and that’s when he would come back. When my mind was not on him, but elsewhere.

Now, conversely, I notice he runs when he cannot handle the way I communicate with him by applying pressure ( aka fear.) The first time was a reveal, the second time was me trying to get my point across. Any resistance within the fiber of the two of you will not fly. If one presses, the other runs. And both must be 100% ready to embark on it. Any caution or pausing, you will fly back into separation.

No matter what, we can affect their behaviors with our thoughts. I say to myself,” I will read my twin’s story on Insta.” 20-30 minutes later, he checks all of mine on both of my Insta accounts. Ha!

We¬†should be considered behavioral flames because our behavior conveys our energy. I read an amazing sentence two days ago in a book that hit me like a ton of bricks. “It’s not what you look like that ultimately lures someone in, but how you act.” Let’s back track to understanding that one must take things in a slow and calm manner. Perfect example. Over the past month I have had a pretty famous international graffiti artist dead-bent on meeting me based on what I post on my art Instagram. He told me three times in a few weeks when he would be in NYC and the dates we could meet and that we should link up. Now, with any other woman, especially one understanding the gravity of the situation, this would be huge. But no, I have a twin and he isnt it, (although he is cute and Polish) (Meow) so then I treat him like a friend. Not a future husband who I am trying to dictate every move. I am relaxed, calm, confident. This shows. And this draws him in.

“Gimme gimme gimme,” “I need you!” and “we are twins therefore we must be together at once,” does not fly on the male emotional/behavioral scale when it comes to women. Whatsoever. Men like calm, cool, relaxed, aloof, even completely ignorant women who just dont give a fuck.

Let’s go another step. I meet four men to “work with.” I test this with them. Being far too open vs being very aloof and busy. Aloof and busy works WAY better than “Let me tell you my life story. BTW I have a metaphysical husband and speak to the dead.”

Lastly: As twins, we have the easy ability to quantum leap once we have broken some of our false core beliefs. Regular people can too, if they sit there are break the beliefs. Butthis is rare. Once you break the belief, it is no longer an obstruction. Break a few and you will have begun to chew through a concrete wall with your mind. That’s all it takes. Everything is an illusion. Stop believing in fake walls/human legs, you can run as far and jump as high as you want.

2017 is the year that we all begin to really get it together. I’m super excited! Things are going to be great! Once you shut off the negative feelings and beliefs and realize they are just time wasters, you begin to focus on the positive. We have some great things to do next year!

Say Happy Birthday. The 29th, I turn 40. It’s great being eternal. Don’t give a fuck.

Happy holidays everyone! Time to implement and begin new action, test some new experiments, jump a little higher.




Non- twin irritation

I’m gonna go there.

There are many people within the spiritual community that arent twin flames that seem to be obsessed with being one. However, the problem is that twins, as we have to go through so much transformation within our energy fields, can pick up on this waivering and untrue energy. So let me repeat myself: REAL TWINS KNOW WHEN YOU ARE JUST PRETENDING TO BE A TWIN.

There are characteristics that stick out, very obviously. You don’t know what you’re talking about is the biggest one. You proclaim love and peace and higher vibrations without having to live through the ups and downs of the true experience. You don’t have answers and you’re not connecting into us. WE CAN FEEL THAT! No joke!

As twins, if we feel something is off, IT IS! That’s the energy talking. And words don’t even have to be said.¬†We can just feel it.

However, it is funny to watch these nons spin circles and try to charge for services that they are not equipped to discuss.

Non-twins, you can’t fool anyone. This isnt an exclusive club that you want to get into. And if you do believe that, this is your inexperience showing it’s head. This can be the most miserable, downright heartbreaking and horrible experience at times. True twins, most of us, get stuck in separation for so many years, that it is nothing to be envious of. Or to want to go through.

Please think before you make unwise decisions.

For our community.

Thank you.


Twin boundaries

I had the lucky chance to talk with my twin over the past four days. I sent some very strong compassion messages across like changing out of lack mindset to achieve abundance and also who he is to me. I’ve always known he was my twin. Unfortunately, he seems to have forgotten who I am.

Too busy to deal with me, complaining about negative things about my habits and perceptions.

It’s lucky I can see through this energy and understand it to be one of lack. I don’t take it personally. However, there is no reason I should subject myself to that type of energy or negativity.

My twin is not being his loving self anymore. In fact, he is very different from who I know him as. But I cannot change that. All I can do is go back to the drawing board and make a good life for myself. Because WE aren’t ready.

I tend to share ugly parts of my journey because I want other twins to know how this works. It is no fairy tale, by a long shot. Twins come to me to tell me how they hate their twin, how they want to beat them up or yell at them. These are important emotions to pass. We go through so much negativity so fast, replenishing forgiving love. We are breaking out of our old structures to be able to accept this type of love. But there’s no reason to put up with bad behavior. If someone isn’t being grateful for you, leave. Twin or non-twin.

Again, if your twin is treating you badly, LEAVE. I have a very close friend who allows all types of abuse with her twin. It is not fair to either side. Use self respect and move away from the negative energy. You must protect yourself, this is why when twins separate, they tend to move FAR away from each other. They have to. It’s a best bet for the way the timeline plays out. You must be separate from each other or WW3 would ensue. This is nature’s way of keeping everyone safe.

If things feel off, they are. Use your intuition and trust your gut. Energy is truth.

Even in the rough times, like now, I know and have complete faith that all will be processed and handled via the stages in good time. As a twin that has gone through so much of this, there are so many odd emotional places and feelings and things that occur within our “reawakening”. No one goes through this if they don’t have a twin. Time changes and feeling your twin and processing negative out to unconditional love. It is very multi-layered. Not even highest yogis and spiritual practitioners have to go through it this way. So give yourself a hug. This is crazy, high level stuff. And it’s not easy or fun to break through all that we’ve been taught all of our lives.

I plan to have a nice holiday season despite my twin’s position in my life as of current. I cannot rely on anyone, but myself, to make me happy.

Easy healing/What is a soul?


As a junior therapist, I’ve come to find that there’s many ways about going about eliminating pain and false beliefs. There’s the one way where you can take apart each fear and ask why. Why am I afraid? ¬†What does this trigger in me and why? You can go to a therapist and they will ask those questions to you and then charge you money. You can go to a trained EFT therapist and they will tap on you and make you say affirmations until you have hit a center of emotion and then release. And then there is a totally different approach. “The soft and gentle way.” Meditation and music.

I started doing chakra bowl meditations about a year and a half ago. Thinking, “What possibly could I see or feel through music and meditation?” I tried my own, which sent me through a rough version of 4 past lives and ended with me crying as I was a dog burnt in a dog house by 4 lousy kids. I did the chakra bowl meditations and the first time I remembered being stabbed in the stomach with a sword while convulsing on the floor and crying to myself in ¬†room of 30 people. Not what I had expected. As time moved on, my bowl experiences changed. I saw a few more things, but mostly now, I just see nice things. Perhaps I have processed all I can with these tones? I still see cool stuff.

So I ended up Googling some bowl meditations to send them to a friend and I found the 528 Hz meditations. Solfeggio tones that are mathematical in nature and supposedly heal a body/DNA..etc. They are frequencies that are there to cleanse and undo negativity. OK, I’m in! The first one I did, twice my twin texted me during it.Once at the beginning and once at the end. The sound did feel a little schwoopy. I felt a little better, but very warm and encased like being suffocated in a sponge. At one point I began to slide into the music and got scared. Like I was falling. It was trippy.

Music isnt doing anything to you unless it’s REALLY taking you somewhere.

Well. I did this one tonight and began to feel all types of stuff. “Let go of¬†fear, overthinking and worries..432 Hz. Binaural deep theta waves.” Dude, whoa! I began to see things moving with my eyes closed and I could feel just how balanced the tones were. The high versus the low come together and begin to encircle you and forms this tension. It pulls thoughts and scenarios out and you release them. At least that’s how I felt. I began to slide into this one, almost falling asleep, getting slightly scared as I lost the bounds of my body.

And then I stopped it to write this blog. I was 20 minutes in.

I have many twins come to me and you can tell their frequencies just by talking to them. I tell everyone the same thing: WORK ON BREAKING YOUR FEARS. And no one wants to hear that shit. It is hard to confront them. I even had a freshie twin tell me he will do that next year. I said, buddy, you need to address that right away! And we both laughed. And this is how it goes.

Remind yourself of WHO you are. You are not the skin or the fat or your hair color or your bones. You are a soul within a vessel. I was thinking about it during the meditation whether it was in one point of the body or throughout. Many times I think my soul stays in my head and moves the rest of it. But I think tonight, it is actually dispersed into all of your cells. Why? Because people get sick when they are down. However, if you emotionally release the thing that is making you sick, often times, you get better right away.

There is an amazing connection between the soul and the body and illness or health. Many times, if you are balanced, you will not get sick. Even if you are low on sleep, drink like a fish and are stressed, if your mind and thoughts are solid, nothing’s going to budge. Emotions are a huge part of our health. And your emotions change once you do the “work” That work is to remind you of WHO YOU ARE. Not just to address fears. YOU ARE LOVE.

Look at it the opposite way. You are born as a soul into a vessel. You are light and love. And then the parents take over and make you into their own messy canvas of emotions. This was not your fault. However, it is your business to unravel that. Perhaps if you don’t want to look at the fears head-on, instead remind yourself that you are just an electric charge within a physical system that comes from and was born of love. And you are more interested in focusing your perception on that love rather than the fraught and scattered fears of those who taught you. Who painted and drew all over your brain, emotional and behavioral systems. You want to erase the programming and remember your core and source. You want to be free.

Anytime I am down, I don’t call people. I have tons of twins always offering love, saying I can email them too if I need help. I don’t go to people¬†too often because I know where the problem is originating.. it’s in me. I need to keep unraveling these “things.” I lie down and meditate or go to the beach and speak with her, the Universe, who is me. And you and everyone else. We’re all the Universe. We are all God.

We forget who we are. It’s really important we remember the beauty and light we are, instead of thinking of the things are arent truly us anyway!

There’s different brain waves in meditation. Beta, Alpha, theta, Delta. I learned it young, Mom would always say, “You can’t think negative things in Alpha!¬†Or during any of it! Only positive thoughts!” I find the deeper you go, the more you remember and can cleanse. It doesn’t mean you can’t do so at a higher brain wave. Go in with an open mind, you will be impressed and perhaps shocked at what you see and feel.

Over the next two months I am going to be doing many of these deep release musical videos. I see so much stuff with the Solfeggio tone meditations, much more so than the chakra bowls. I wanted to share and I will share some of my findings when the experiment is over.

Have a nice weekend! Keep remembering who you are!


Image taken from

The dance

The energy that I feel today is very strong, but strangely, it is quiet. It is ripping through anything it can and strangling off the fake, so that only truth remains. A very early eclipse notion. I’m so excited for these three eclipses because of this.

We get lead into situations where we think it’s going to be A, B, and C and then come to find out it’s three other letters and you must arrange yourself to make it read right. The energy is tangled around old understandings and fears. So, one must arrange themselves to align with what is needed in each situation. Not all alignments are ones that you thought. That’s OK. We are all in transformation.  It is necessary to dance with this to allow the music and the air to shake away the fear. Keep reframing the dance as you must. The situation changes the more you allow yourself to FEEL the moves that you must make to allow it to dance itself out.

I‚Äôm going deeper and deeper into the dance, the music and the rhythm. I will allow myself pause when it’s too much. I will rest and get proper nourishment when it is necessary. I can hear and feel everyone dancing with me the more silent that I am. And if you are new here, welcome to the dance. ūüėČ

Twin Flame TEST? Yes! Ten aspects of a twin flame relationship.

Sometime in March of 2016, I came up with a short list of things that are aspects of a¬†twin relationship. I spoke with Mamma Twin flame, Robin Dearest, and she agreed with them too. You may have one or two with a soulmate, but not all of these. There’s a MAJOR difference between a soulmate and a twin flame. Sometimes, it takes years to understand the difference. A¬†twin flame will always remain¬†in your heart.

The ten solid aspects of a twin flame relationship are the following

  1. Fear mirroring and emotional button pushing. I just wrote a blog about this, please read it. In short, love or fear mirrors between the two twins based upon how loving or fearful they are. Since as humans, we are taught to protect ourselves through ego, once a fear begins to mirror, it tends to get very ugly between twins in a short period of time. This is why most twins can’t stay together too long before separation. It just hurts too much. We act out in fear instead of love and it’s very hard to control. As far as emotional button pushing goes: If you have it in your mind and it’s not in line with love, they will push that button. They’re like a circular energy that goes up and down your whole soul and points out where you are still not aligning and also have weakness. Your twin will illuminate your weaknesses and you will know it’s a weakness because it will hurt.
  2. Unconditional love and forgiveness. As twins we love our twin so much that we can forgive them, over time, at lighting speed. You won’t be able to stay mad at your twin because you always love them, no matter what. This¬†gives both parties absolute freedom to what whatever they need to in order to learn their lessons. Twins ALWAYS love each other. Even in separation. The ego wall that comes up in separation of “I can’t deal with this” tends to make it seem like they don’t love you. They do. They always do. They can’t not love you. (And they will always think you are the cutest, too.)
  3. The stages. You both follow the stages of a twin flame relationship. Strong love and energy stage to¬†fighting out insecurities stage to separation stage to surrender stage to dropping ego stage to reuniting stage.¬†The stages were written by other twins that had to go through it. My twin and I have gone through most of the stages. Sometimes you go back and forth through the stages. There are also stages within separation, like the “I don’t believe my twin is coming back” stage, ¬†which each twin goes through on their own.
  4. Inability to detach/move on. If you know they are the one, then it makes it very hard to get into other relationships. Most regular relationships are easy to get over. I’ve had many, so I know. It tends to feel like you can’t move on or you are stuck.¬†When a normal relationship ends, you go through a period of mourning and depression then letting go and acceptance. For twins, as we never truly LET GO, our letting go can be found in trusting the Universe’s plan and also refocusing on ourselves to work on breaking our¬†fears to be able to have reunification.
  5. Emotional rollercoastering for years. Usually emotions are highest during moon phases. We will be fine and then emotions hit, out of nowhere, months or years later and we are just not fine. Your twin may be thinking about you at that moment.
  6. Feeling them/ constantly thinking of them/signs/telepathy. The amount of times in a day that you think of your twin will far surpass the amount of times that you would think of a normal boyfriend/girlfriend. You will notice this more so in separation. My theory is that we are metaphysically entwined, very much like twin particles/quantum entanglement, we are connected from WITHIN. I have never had a hard time getting someone out of my head before. With the twin flame coming to you and leaving, you think of them hundreds to thousands¬†of times a day. It is very overwhelming, but it does fade (a bit) over time.¬†All twins have signs that make them think of their twin. It is something we designate inside of ourselves. As twins, we can also sense what the other feels, is up to, is happy or sad about. We can send each other messages with our minds and are also quite psychic. This psychic connection can extend to¬†twin friends too. I’m psychic with most twins.
  7. Stalking. This happens, I think, because the soul looks for the other side. ¬†It wants to re-merge back together which is an unbelievably powerful feeling that most of us have a very hard time to control. There are different levels of stalking. Sometimes, the levels go above and beyond normal just seeing what they are up to. It is like an obsession. This happens to many twins. The need to do this will fade as the separated twin refocuses their energy back to themselves.¬†I¬†do believe that once your twin and you are in separation, leaving them space and peace is essential to turning the situation around. Respect their space, don’t call or text, it’s important for¬†healing. And do your best to not stalk your twin. You probably don’t want to know what they are up to anyway. It will just hurt you.
  8. Sleep disturbances/ very intense dreams. I tend to sleep like a rock with my twin and when he is away, I have difficulty sleeping. Many twin friends have spoke about this with me, that it happens to them, as well. Twins also have very elaborate dreams about their twins. Many discuss it as a way to talk to their twin, to send and receive information. Another sign of our strong connection.
  9. The inability to stay together unless fears have been broken. Fears and emotional reactions have to be squashed in order to deal with the other on a daily basis. If you are both not acting out of love, you will be acting out of fear and mirroring it quickly between you. This will become painful and hard to deal with quickly. I’ve seen it described that twins are “toxic” to each other before the fear has been broken. Regular relationships don’t do this.
  10. Seeing through to truth. Love is truth. It is understanding and gratitude. It is openness and sharing. As twins we can see through the fear (lies, deception, false information, ego-based decisions) to the truth, very easily, over time. Layers of fear and ego are what we were taught as humans as a survival skill. But as twins, we realize that there is no need for that protection if love is what connects us all. And we drop that ego layer, we must, to be able to connect to our twins.

As much as the twin flame relationship paradigm may feel weird or overwhelming at times, it does help illuminate what love truly is and also helps you become a better human by being more understanding and appreciative for what you do have. We are at a crucial time in history where fear is rising to show flaws within the systems we have instituted on this Earth. It is important that truth and love win. So we are watching this tense fight between love/truth and fear. Love is what connects us all. Let’s remember the love and drop the fear.

Fear Mirroring

Originally posted on tfhopeandhealing.tumblr, this blog with added advice.

Now I get it! This week we have been going thru the doubting stuff again. Hence half my blog being deleted last night.

I’ll break it down because I find it interesting.

I have a fear about something, subconsciously and not even realizing it. Even the smallest thing that I wouldnt think was obvious.. I express it to him. He hears it and has his own internal interpretation over it. Then spits out his own fear to mirror my behavior. And of course being a counsellor on this topic, I tell him not to be fearful, not realizing on my side is where that fear started.

HA! Great!

But if I look at this whole month, it has been a month already, as long as we are focusing on the love and the connection and truly trusting it, then this fear doesnt come up. It didnt for the first few weeks. And so then what do you do when these types of mirroring events happen? See that you are the beginning point of it, step back, examine and throw it away. Really attempt to relax and feel the love internally. I was coaching a twin this morning on it and it hit me: ‚ÄúDEBBIE, RELAX! See the connection. Stop making a big deal over things because that will rip us up more. Focus on the love!‚ÄĚ

My behaviors are much different than Jake and Debbie are Twin Flames Pt. 1. Of course now I’m seeing the fears I have put out for him to mirror over the past week. They stand out like sore thumbs because then on his end, I get RESISTANCE. If he hurls a fear back at me, I give him resistance and tell him to lighten up.

This is going to take as long as it does and I’m not so worried like before. It will go back and forth until we practice showing love and only love. Which most humans arent naturally trained to do.

I wanna give a shout out to all twins I have been talking to this week. You all calm me. And also to those who reblogged my tf stuff. Thanks or it would be gone. ‚̧


If you feel like you are being attacked by your twin, you HAVE GOT TO walk away from it and stop it in someway. If you have done some work with yourself, you know not to react to it. And at times, that is hard when someone is attacking you. You have to not only sheild yourself from it and process what your twin is fearing, but also have to NOT REACT. You have to learn how to be soothing to stop it. Or just put your foot down and say, Im not dealing with this.

The fear came from you and will keep mirroring back and forth between you, otherwise.

Let me point out, they DONT MEAN TO attack you. This is a natural defense system set up to ward off pain/attacks. Say hi to the ego, everyone! No one wants to attack anyone. But they do so under enough duress.

If you have been through mirrored fear, you understand how painful and shitty it can be. It is the primary reason why twins separate. But underneath that fear is all the love. It never went anywhere. You just have to shift perception.

Each twin group has their own fears, on each side. One twin will fear apples, bees and being stuck in a relationship and the other will fear toothpicks, tigers and ugly underwear. Whatever. Realize that the things that you bring up to fight with your twin about before separation are YOUR FEARS that YOU must EXORCISE. I understood most of my fears and did an amazing amount of work on them to have them silently pass away. Fears are illusions, not in line with love. Not in line with your TRUE feelings.

Keep reshifting focus back to the love. Keep pics, look at the pics, think about your behaviors, work on breaking false core beliefs/emotional instability. It is not as scary as you think. Once you break the belief, it no longer exists. Odd thing that I notice is that if I no longer care about it, he no longer does it.What does that tell you? It was an illusion the whole time.

None of us are perfect. No one. We all have stuff we can work on. Any resistance or fear will show you that you are not coming from a place of love, essential in tf unions.

My Help in Separation page has a great website link at the bottom to help you break your false core beliefs, assist you in understanding how to heal emotional wounds. There are a lot of free podcasts made specifically to understand fear, fear of love and how to deal with emotions on there to help.



Reunion/What is a relationship?

This is going to be a big blog. I don’t even know where to start this or where to begin.

I think I’ll start it backwards.

It has taken me 39 years to figure out what a relationship is. It only became clear after the last person I met during separation taught it to me. For years I had expectations of people to do this or that. That we had to go places and hold hands and be romantic and just be cool with each other, but that is not the full story. The reason I know is because I had to learn it from a very long distance, without ever meeting the person. We barely have even spoken more than a sentence or two into a recording mic.

I deal with my collaborator who lives in Chile,¬†daily, at first for work purposes, but now it has become to share art and sometimes music. We’re very good friends. I see something artsy that has our style, I send it to him and vice versa. He doesnt even speak English and I don’t speak Spanish and I think this was done by the Universe on purpose. Everything we type has to be translated. ¬†And he always talks about “nuestra conexion del arte”/” our art connection” and it is obvious it is very solid. We have a strong art relationship.

We share, openly and freely and honestly, without expectations to stress the relationship. We trust each other because we share a cloud account, not to do anything weird with the other’s work.¬†Although ours isn’t romantic, this is what a real relationship is. This is what a real connection is. How much and how deeply you share only intensifies the bond. Sharing is love. Openness is love. Honesty is love.

My twin and I had this licked on every platform and way possible before we went into bad mirroring. And now were going back into sharing on many levels, in a respectable way. As we feel comfortable, we are working back into a sharing relationship built with love in mind, without fear to mar the connection. And I think about all of my true and tight connections and relationships and they have this type of pattern. I’ll share anything with those people not only because I trust them, but because I know they are interested in what I have to say.

There are many elements to this that I want to point out.

-You must be grateful and show that you are grateful for the connection or it will dwindle. Admiration and respect are also key to this.

-There must be a natural balance to the sharing or it will imbalance and become one sided.

-There needs to be some type of commonality within interests. Then you can both share your perception of that “thing.” This is probably why I talk to so many twins, it interests us all.

It hit me so hard yesterday morning as he and I share nice words when the other is down. I don’t have to meet him or any of my twins to feel connected. I am very connected to all of you from us just sharing stories and texts and emails. And this is real. You have never met me, but I appreciate all of you for all of your help and nice words. This is real connection. This is what a relationship is.

All of these years and I just figure this out now.

As my twin and I reunion, we are comparing stories and working thru the leftover wrinkles of perception. Separation is so long because of the breaking of old conditioning and also your shifting perception. Each side does and has to work on their imbalances so that the energy in the couple can balance. The energy has to even out and you will find as you go through separation, you become calmer and calmer as you go through it because you are accepting of what is the now.

Now realize, if before there was a problem, those problems still must be ironed out through talking and compromising. I find that both of us had many delusions/illusions brought on by fear that didn’t exist, but seemed like they were¬†threats. I also find that many of the delusions we had, they were invented through the filter of our insecurities. Like if I think it, he will do it. So I have to watch what I focus on. Now that insecurities have dwindled, our perception is much more realistic of the other one.

Sometimes the energy does fall off balance and you both have to reconnect to discuss what these imbalances are. Open and honest sharing/communication is of utmost importance during this time.If before you were to fly off the handle, now, you probably won’t and will take a night to think it out. Or two. That’s OK. Keep balancing.

There were many things on my side that I had to learn to understand how to deal with the energy of our connection, since it is so strong. As we both say,”We don’t go slow, we never did.” It is instantaneous and non-stop. But now I find we take more breathers, so that’s good. It balances us out and makes us appreciate the connection more.

If we are twins, if we have adhered exactly to the stages to a T, then we have to learn to trust that the rest of the stages will unfold magically and naturally, as the Universe sees it fit. Then, if you do trust it, trust the Universe and it’s unfolding¬†of miracles, there is nothing to stress about. You can’t even lose twins/soulmates through death, they always come back to find you. They can always sense you. And as twins, you will come back together once you have worked on those imbalances in the energy. The frantic, clingy energy that you may exhibit as a twin fresh into separation will fade within a year or two. By this time, you will feel much more at ease, based on all of the energy your twin sends and the signs that you see. And also how much your perception has shifted from a place of lack to a place of abundance.

I think a big part of getting through separation, besides detaching from your twin to focus on yourself is learning how to become a happy person, even in bad times. And separation is THEE FUCKING WORST time you will ever live through in your whole damn life. I woke up everyday, for the most part and was like, “Dude, really? Stillllll? Still I have to deal with this?” I am super grateful that my twin is back so that I don’t have to wake up to think that one sentence. But I learned during this time to focus on the good and happy and positive despite being alone everyday. Even in conversation or theories about why things happen, there is always a silver lining. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. Even the bad.

I realized there is no such thing as bad, or evil or negative. Just confusion from love. Fear-based¬†training care of mom and dad and the rest of society. Which is why we go thru crazy ninja training in separation to turn those frowns upside down. I can be swarmed by bugs, have what the¬†norm would consider a catastrophe to happen, break something, get into an accident, hurt myself by accident and laugh at all of this when before it would emotionally quell me.I don’t even get sick anymore, really. But if we break out of those fear-based beliefs and embrace that everything is in perfect place and does happen for a reason, it makes it much easier to go with the flow.

You learn very early in separation that you have no control over anything,¬†but yourself. You can’t control people or their thoughts or actions. Instead, it is through self-control that we influence the world to become a better place. To surge the energy higher. Even to understand why your twin ran off with someone else for the time that they did. They had to,¬†to be able to get back to you. They had to learn their lessons too.

There is total forgiveness in this type of unconditional love and yes, you can practice it with your non-twin friends too. No one is perfect, everyone is exactly as they are and as they were taught. Fear dwindles within relationships the¬†more honest¬†you become, the more love you have and give, because then it gets mirrored. If I am straight with you about who I am,¬†then there is nothing you can do about it, but eat it. That’s who I am. That’s not going to change. Not saying the fear-based parts can stay, but the core soul will remain the same, just vibrate higher with more love.

So many of us chasers felt rejection from our twins while in separation. I think the idea is to highlight how awesome you are, your talents, the things you are good at, what a great person you are to turn that negativity around. It takes the pain away when we refocus on our strengths and things that we’re good at. It also helps to be realistic about the situation.


Your twin left because of one reason or another. Yet, we give to them at a distance sometimes for YEARS because we feel we should. We rebalance our energy when we focus more on the now, who is with us now, who is¬†grateful for us now. If your twin doesnt want to be there with you, don’t let them. Don’t feel selfish, because you are already imbalanced in the giving while they are not. Instead, do you. The signs drive some of my twin friends nuts, but a sign means nothing if a soul¬†isnt coming right behind it. This was crucial for me and our relationship. I gave up, so to speak and moved forward on other planes. My twin didnt like the energy shutoff and magically came back. It’s not being mean. It’s just being super focused on what you need to do to live a balanced life.

I found that with many twins, most of us feared love. Perhaps we didnt feel good enough for it. My twin will never love me as I am! They will one you balance energetically with them. It happens quite naturally. I feel that love is the light, the web and weaving of all energy and many people fear that connection because it feels overwhelming to be attached to such a high frequency. There is nothing to fear. Love is a beautiful connection between people and elevates them. Love is daily gratitude for what and whom is in your life today.

Separation time goes super fast. Our two years felt like 4 months. Both of us agree on that. That being said, everything been said, just flow. Do what you must.

Last, but not least, the love you and your twin share is real. It never goes away. It is true, unconditional love. You will always love them and they will always love you. Many twins don’t have this knowledge because they werent lucky enough to spend a decent bit of time with their twins. I can vouch for you. It is real. They feel it too. They think about you daily. It is not a hoax. And you will go through the stages as your mind can break down the fake illusions and accept what reality is. How simple it is. How little there is to fear.

Everything in reunion feels natural because we both want it. We both want to make this work. It’s very powerful thing when both sides work to make a relationship work. Sharing, honesty, openness are essential in getting us all there.









I’m not writing this to gloat or make twins in separation feels bad. Instead, I am writing this to help you understand certain key elements that occurred to make this happen. And also part of what happened after to show that yes, this process helps a TON.

I’m not sure what talked me through this giant process. It was a second knowing. And I have to say that connecting to twins and the tf community on Tumblr was totally essential to progressing it quicker. The faster you learn, the faster you are out. And I am very appreciative for the twins that helped me through. I’m an alcoholic and I still wont go to AA because I feel like I could do that myself. But the tf separation I couldnt handle and needed to seek help, therapy, those in the same situation to understand exactly how to deal with it.

I am also in a strange spot because I cannot expose my twin nor his details as that would be obnoxious. But I will say his perception, even knowing he was a twin, was that we were broken up. Not separated. So that made it easier for him to progress in a natural fashion to learn the things he needed to learn on his side.

I held on for dear life. For at least 1.5 years. Maybe a little less. KNOWING I had to move on and let go. Remember..moving on and letting go during separation is just refocusing on yourself with pinpoint precision. I did go through certain therapies. I did a ton of core belief work. I broke a lot of false beliefs and illusions. I talked to a ton of twins and did lots of research on patterns. I needed to get us out. I needed to get me out. And it really helped focusing on the positive things and people who are in my life.

It was when I naturally let go over the past 8 or so months that things began to fall into place. And I was fine. I did think about him, but as a tf symbol. Not of our times together as that would be too painful. I locked him away. And as I did, I began doing new things. Really focusing on what I love. And I made new friends. My perception shifted and I felt very grateful. Things were good again.

Last Friday night I got the email that was a response from almost two years ago. I didnt call or text my twin for almost 2 years because I knew, it wasnt my place to. he would have to get in touch with me when he was ready.

I felt it a bit reserved and understandably. It had been two years since we spoke. Over the next few emails I mirrored that. And he began to back away. I was still hurt. I was allowing my ego to hold the wall up. It wasnt until Sunday night that I ended up realizing that I was creating this ego wall and I broke down and wrote him an email with my true feelings about him now to reset the tone and wash the ego parts away from our connection.

We have both changed A LOT. I’m less needy and frantic. He is more mature. And our exchanges have been 95 % positive minus a few here and there.

And then last night happened. I totally lost my shit after thinking about how hurt I was over him being gone for so long. And I had been drinking. Which I still havent stopped but MUST.

An aside: I could down a bottle of wine and be sweet to each and every one of you, but with my twin, it just doesnt fly. It never did. The intensity of our energy makes it so that we reverberate the non-truth and negative back and forth out of each other. The times that I drank around him were SO BAD. Like HORRIFIC!¬†This never happened with anyone else that I dated or even was around. And this will happen with any bad behavior you have yet to eliminate. The second that email came in, my almost first thought was, “Welp, time to quit drinking again” Use separation to eliminate your bad behaviors as best you can. I thought I had more time to fix it, but I’m glad I don’t.¬†

However, our fights have now changed to be a lot less brutal. We understand we are coming from a place of love, we know what we had to go through to get here and our ultimate goal is to work together and live life through with each other. We are finally in that mindset. But you add in me being slighty buzzed, upset about the time it took and the conditions under which it did and that’s a powderkeg of dynamite. He did so well with me last night and today, coming back to the positive and to love. I am truly impressed. However, I understand that I cannot abuse this love. If I do, it will go away again and so I have to be very careful in all that I do.

What was interesting to me was that I could sense it coming. After the Universe said it, 5 months ago, I kinda forgot about it. I was so wrapped up in the great energy of the new people and events in my life that it was no longer a situation. I had the urge a week prior to finally shut down my tf blog because I didnt need to focus on that anymore. I had finally given up! But could feel him yearning to try it again. There were major signs the week and month before. I was having very odd dreams too. The day of the email coming in, my ipod was changing to songs that would make me think of him, I felt sad at one point, which i dont feel anymore, I was talking to the air to him and also I could feel his anxiety physically. But I didnt really think anything weird of it because I had dealt with these signs for so long that I just ignore them and push them away.

We had balanced our energy enough to take this on again. The work hasn’t ended. Oh, trust me. ¬†But we are very transformed and better equipt now to deal with this. He’s so different, the vibe and energy is so strong and positive from him, I’m just like: is that you? Knight in shining armor or something! If I told you the texts he sent me, you would melt! Yowwwcchhhhh!!!


It is like a Chinese finger cuff: you have to do the opposite of what feels natural. You want to pull them back in, to get their attention, to send them love, to give to them, but you have got to do the opposite. Release the hold. Best to ignore and go do you. You must raise your own vibration and really be involved in your life. This is how the energy balances. We are both very busy with our own projects now and have way more to bring to the table in the behavioral and love realms.

I am going to see him in a few weeks and we are both so excited.

I am so grateful for the twins that helped me, who help me still¬†and¬†have been there for me during the hardest time of my life. I love you all very much! You have become family to me. ‚̧ Thank you.







4 a.m. science chat with the non-sleeping twin

(At one point, I will turn this into a page with better proof, articles etc. This was just a quick hour and a half go at it.)

I was walking into the woods earlier and sensing that we’re on the brink of figuring all of this out.

I can’t help, but see parallels between science unraveling more of quantum physics and the knowledge of spirit and soul working it’s magic.

I just had to block someone who was making fun of me about “feeling forces you can’t see and verifying them existing.” I am not Isaac Newton and I’m not playing with apples because you didn’t go to science class. I don’t have to sit here and explain love or positivity and it’s invisible effects, yet miraculous, on people. I just don’t. It’s 2016. If you haven’t had some invisible forces/miracles¬†unearth themselves for you enough as proof, then you are probably living in a very dark, closed box.

All of us are going through some form of transformation.

I see connections to the following and this is where things get fuzzy, but I believe they’re all connected.

  1. Life through social media and becoming a digital entity. I didn’t have to see people for years to live. I lived through my computer. People still saw me,but the point is that they didn’t have to. If my social media updated you, I still existed. I became an electric human in this sense. My connection to over connected sites like Facebook had to dwindle and be shut off because there is so much data being hunted and connected currently that I no longer felt it was a useful tool. Instead saw it as a surveillance tactic. But don’t let it fool you. I am still electric all the way through.
  2. Truth rising up all over the Earth. This has been a thing over the past 8 years thanks to the¬†Cardinal Grand Crosses, which I’ll discuss next. We are getting to the point, be it twin or non-twin where our own energy can detect lies very easily and we will, as a species, in the future, not be able to lie. Anything hidden is now becoming unearthed and shown to the public, whatever that truth may be. Political scandals and cheats, giant financial bank scams, the government collecting emails and phone data. NOTE: ALL OF THESE THINGS BEING UNEARTHED ARE OF LOW-VIBRATION ACTIONS AND ENERGY. Julian Assange, Edward Snowden and Anonymous being major players in this. But something else propels them.
  3. The planets and astrology plays a major part of this. It is a science that works, but isn’t studied enough to predict every single thing. And certain groups of people tend to be afraid of science and truth. The Cardinal Grand Crosses of 2010-2012 were a series of squares (meaning tension) of four cardinal planets fighting. Then came Uranus Square Pluto and it’s 7 dates over a span of years that marked tension. This article explains A LOT.¬†Since all of energy is affected TOGETHER, humans as well as the Earth feel energy’s shifts and so then I began to watch the moon phases and earthquakes. We had a supermoon on 19¬†March 2011 ¬†A week before¬†¬†is when the Japanese mega earthquake/tsunami hit.¬†Strong moon energy tends to begin to “hit” a week prior.
  4. We are now watching from a distance the scientists at CERN and the Large Hadron Collider come up with all types of new data about particles and energetic forces. We know energetic forces to be the four basic¬†. They believe they have now found a fifth force.¬†This doesn’t include how subtle energy of the body/spirit plays into this. YET. But we know it is connected. But as they uncover quantum truth, we, as a weave of a blanket become in tune with it and work closer to TRUTH.
  5. Fear vs. love. We are watching and living in the world with terrorists doing horrible things, governments doing horrible things and the most fearful man running for an American President. We don’t have to wonder why bad things happen at his rallies. His ignorance and racism propagate negativity and what most people understand as “hate.” Fear is non-truth. Evil is fear in action and confusion from love. Hate is pain/hurt. Negatives are going to be exposed and wiped out during what’s to come. Basically, we are watching fear fight love through humans. We must consciously choose to focus on love rather than fear to help “fight” it.
  6. The ever changing weather. Mother nature is shifting with the energy that we are experiencing as well. This could be the death of everything as we know it if weather doesn’t equalize¬†over the next ten years.
  7. The twin flame phenomena in all of this. As twins, we are more energetically in tune with what truth is. I am surprised that there has been such little study on twin flames, in general. We are living proof of quantum entanglement and the twin photon. Even stranger, we are all connected and are magnetized to each other. I attract twin flames like crazy. I am psychic with most twins too.

I had figured that once the Cardinal Crosses were over and Uranus Square Pluto passed that all would be neatly wrapped up and done with as energy was very high before. Instead, I was horribly wrong and it has only gotten higher and higher. (my twin and my motto: higher & higher & higher & higher & higher, off of a Tumblr name we both liked and were thinking about using for the company we were going to start)

I’m not sure WHAT is going on, but we still have an amazing amount of STRONG energy ripping through all of what is non-truth. Last months eclipses and even this month’s moon phases are sooooo strong. I have been non-stop with communication from twins, art people, random people. I have barely been able to sleep for 6 weeks. And from what I’m guessing, it will ONLY GET STRONGER. Proof of energy being high? The last 5 near 7.0 earthquakes in the past two weeks:


I’m sure I’m leaving out major things but I will add them in as the day progresses. I am only awake because of cramps. Or to write this. But either way. WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOST GIANT UNRAVELING OF ALL THAT EXISTS IN HISTORY!¬†Bold and italic’ed. I’ve been watching this for years now, feeling it and writing about it. Be excited because all of the dots do connect.

My prediction based on energy alone, all of what we know that exists, will have to exist in a different format. There’s no way humans/ the human body can handle this type of energy. We do not have the ability to keep up with it. Instead, we will transform back to¬†a unified consciousness aka home. I’m kinda tired of buying clothes anyway.


Transforming the pain

Many times you will hear a twin say, ” You must focus on yourself.” It gets embedded in your consciousness. But you hear it so many times that it would often lead me to an open space of nothingness. Work on me? What? I do it all the time!

So, instead of saying that, I would like you to make a daily intention and keep that as your focus. The intention has to be greater than the pain you feel so that it uplifts you. It should be a passionate desire of sorts, something that will be productive or just help you relax.

At first, as you are in early separation, you really don’t want to do anything. I remember well. But life goes on and at one point, you must begin to flow again, as well. Making yourself a daily intention redirects the focus back onto what you need or want to do. At first it is slightly uncomfortable because it feels non-routine. But that’s how routines form. You must start somewhere.

If you keep with this exercise and do it daily, you will begin to form confidence in your abilities to get things done. It will also help you move through the conduit of time that we as twins know as separation. Daily intentions can start small, can be anything. But make it a practice to carry them out.

When you are focusing on getting work done, doing something you love, you are taking the attention off of the negative feeling you’re experiencing. The twins and I had many a conversation about this awhile back. And we have discovered that distraction is the best form of getting through this rough early stage of obsessing about your twin.

The pain will still be there until you work through it, but this is a good way to minimize it’s intensity so that you can handle it during it’s peak time. It takes time to understand what needs to be healed. This is more like a calming agent to relax you enough to keep going while learning all of the lessons that you will endure.

I hope this works for you all. I still do this daily and it helps me recenter my focus.

Dedication and a few other things

I want to start this blog as I start meditations. Giving and sending love to all of the twins who I deal with daily. You have helped me and seen me through the lowest of times. And it’s a joy to watch all of us get so much further than we were. I’m very proud of all of you! And I’m excited for all of us! I think it’s finally getting somewhere. Last months eclipses were very helpful for allowing us to see more clearly.

I have a friend online who Ive been talking to for months. And two weeks ago I got the message: “Deb, I think I met my twin! We’re so connected and I feel love for her in such a short period of time. The synchronicities are off the chart.” And then he sends her pic, cos I asked him to and yep, she looks just like him, tattoos and all. Then I get the message a week later: She’s just a manipulator! I want nothing to do with her! I said, “Dude, you sound like all twins do..hahah!” And let it go. Today SHE added me on TFU insta. Out of millions of users and I have 45 followers, she is one. HA!

This has happened before. I was speaking with a twin overseas and quite intensely as he was very shaken. And he pleaded with me to reach out to her. And I said, :I can’t do that. She must come to me naturally.” And she did. And I explained things in my normal, dry flat way.

It’s funny just HOW connected we all are.

It’s even funnier how there is a generational thing to this as us twins who have been in separation for a year or two or more now have totally different perspectives than freshie twins. Some are even stubborn and want to hurl shit at you. It’s like being an older sister. You want to duct tape them to a wall so they stop scratching and punching you. I laugh, it’s funny. But ultimately, they have to deal with their own behavior however sharp it is. Us “older” (those who have been in separation longer) twins know. Underneath everything is love. We do our best to guide you while you are still in raw stage where you are still hurting badly. We remember. How could we forget?

Like, we went through fucking HELL. Together. Yes! We were there for each other in horrible, horrible times. So we know. And eventually you will feel better. Progression is a good thing. We’re very forgiving and always have open arms to those who are in need.

I’ve been explained that I am not allowed to hide anymore and that I must keep building this and my art career. And so I do. For awhile I had a hard time and now, it is not so hard. It’s hard to imagine that one email to some guy in 2007-8 became like this giant thing I’m still dealing with 8 years later, but in a totally different way. But this is my life now.

Apparently not everyone appreciates that, but at least I’m honest. Not everyone has the capability to understand the twin flame or even anything more exciting than organized religion. And we have to respect that.My new life tends to freak people out and I have pruned off those who can’t quite handle it because I really have no time for the resistance. I’m too busy being an awesome artist twin flame! I am unapologetic, even with million year old friends because I DONT CARE! I really just don’t. I will not let anything stop my path, purpose, truth or direction.

Yes, this is my life now. I am here to help those who need it. Not those who deflect it. If you are going to be ungrateful, you cannot stay. That’s the way the energy works. Strangely, this idea has helped multiply the wonderful people in my life that I am grateful for. Life is good now.

Funny because I am also not allowed to really post negative stuff anymore. This was understood recently. I have no interest on harping on negatives. It’s a waste of time.

So that all been said, I want to point out a few more things.

Energy is on super high still. As I get further into this, I don;t need the same sleep, the same things as I once did. I can heal myself easier now and I am more liquid when it comes to energetic connection. I also don’t need to talk to people as much as I once did. But I am looking for tight connections. The longer were in this, the more I can sniff you out faster as to what were going to do for each other. And I’m seeing so many more energetic connections from a far. Very interesting to watch.

I am very excited about my new set of paintings. Today’s was a success and a failure at the same time. It was good because I can use the first one as fodder to jump from. I’m sensing a major shift in painting method for me. As well as materials. Acrylic and canvas just dont cut it anymore. Time to upgrade. I need something a bit more luxurious.

I am also excited about my garden. I am doing everything text book this time plus some fun additions. There will be amazing shifts in gardening this season. Sky is the limit. I am extending the property into the woods, I am using all spots necessary, finally building the bridge over the creek, the grass is 6 inches tall already and the back is lush and will only get lusher. I’m growing trees, sunflowers to suck up toxicity off the property, making swales and dry creeks, reordering the beds to 9¬†from 4 raised boxes, fruit trees and shrubs have been added and a second white fence will dot the property line for decoration. Shit is ON FIRE! I just wish my body could keep up energetically with how badly I am going to abuse it. That’s a whole other story for later. Let’s see how it goes. EEEEK!

There’s more I’d like to say but I will just relax myself and instead say good night to all of you.

Good night kittens.


For my twin, since you read all my stuff: Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen.


And though I walk home alone, I walk home alone. But my faith in love is still devout.




The things after the thing

I wrote a blog on my Blogger back in the day about the thing after the thing. It was about those small minutiae that come to you as you’re leaving a relationship and how they, overtime, begin to form the¬†next part of your life.

I even wrote something on TF Torture back in the day about how I had the choice to worry about my friend or just go mow my lawn. And I mowed my lawn, instead of worrying. And the friend called later. But I had my whole lawn mowed and it was good that I focused on that instead of sitting and worrying about my friend.

Life for twins is totally different than others. Then add in our change in time. As you all know, it’s not the same for us once we’ve gone through this.

So many twins fresh to separation are still in mourning, are still awaiting a phone call or a letter that won’t come for a very long time. Like, years. So, as one who wondered about how long to wait, let me assure you. DON’T.

This is personal, as each twin has it’s own time metering system in their mind. And mine was steadfast for awhile. But as time goes on, you can even feel that you’re not ready and so eventually you “give up” or “move on” as this craziness insists. And before you know it, you have a new life with new players, new realities, new everything.

There was definitely a shift during this series of eclipses. My severely focused life has just become that much more severely focused. I see a transition with each one of my twin friends. Each one of us has made it to a new room in the twin flame house of horrors.

Kidding. Not really tho.

I’m going with non-resistance as the easy guiding light in this mess. If it’s working, work with it. If it’s not, move away from it. Don’t worry, trust the Universe, she’s showing you the way through non-resistance and her own forms of love.

I know you were hoping for juicy details. I can’t..

Things are good. Things are moving. The weather is crazy, but the twins are working hard together. We’re bounding together to help the other newer twins. Welcome to the Matrix. The real one. Fasten your seat belts now, it’s quite the ride.

I’m excited again. Things are getting so good that I truly¬†couldn’t be happier. Why? I let the non-resistance guide me and it keeps sending me gifts. So many gifts, that life is finally turning around! As I just pulled an angel card at the bowl meditation Saturday night:”In the next few months..” it said.

Damn straight, angel card! I have some super swift and electric tricks up my sleeve. I’m gonna RIDE your crazy wave like a nutty surfer. IDGAF!

Have a great week, kiddos. Sending love to those who need it. Love and light.




Stopping the data-grubbing fear contagion

This morning I decided to log onto Experience Project after two weeks not checking it and the website had posted a note. Within the note contained some very interesting language, that I as a writer decipher into something a bit larger.

The next screenshot says that they are freezing the website as of April 21 due to these above concerns.

Let’s step back a second.

We know based on all that has happened since about 2010 that the govt is watching us and collecting information. Our phones, our emails, any online action is being watched and collected. I met a data farmer last month and he explained to me how they just take a whole bunch of variables to try to sell us things based on what we post. And Facebook is horrible for this because they are so interconnected to so much stuff. Google also high on the list of pulling info.

How do I know? Google TOLD ME when I had to get on a plane last year. It knew which hotels I was staying at and where to pick up my rental car. Funny thing is though, I never told Google that.

Understanding that¬†this underlying energy is fear-based in flavor is important. Like a data farmer, take apart how fear-based people work. They are up in arms every time something happens, they complain a lot, they often don’t take risks. They feel powerless daily. They tend to worry about other people and what they do instead of themselves. And they often pull shit like this, collecting massive amounts of information that really, doesn’t do anything.

Why? Information doesn’t control people. People do what ever they want, ¬†whenever they want. And that is something that needs to be understood.

Between the government doing whatever they want, trying to control people and then people doing whatever they want, there is a lot of false control here.

Let me pave the path to serenity for you with the first step: You cannot control anything that happens except the things that you do. You are powerless to fear-based moves by the government, to people’s moves, to the weather, however ruthless it wants to be. Accept that powerlessness. And you will let go.

This can happily weave itself into the tf life. You cannot control your twin. You can only control yourself. This is where true power comes in.

You control yourself. You control what you think. You control what you do. You control your focus. Empower yourself.

Take it a step further and begin to change your perceptions as to why this is all happening. The tf thing is happening to make YOU better, not to drag you through misery daily.

The government data-grubbing¬†is fear-based and it’s a power trip designated by fear-based thinking, attempting to control masses of people. Very much like Hitler and trying to control the Jews (See Donald Trump as a present-day example of this fear-based living.)

Bring it back to how this country was founded. Taking over land that wasnt ours to begin with. Fighting native people. I see this as a karmic loop. The fear-based machine that began it all, that alludes “free speech, land of the free and home of the brave,” is not so free and no so brave. These are are fantastic illusions that have been placed in front of us as very young people. And then you wonder why America’s rates of murder, depression, alcoholism, gun-violence is so high. It’s based around the general core of the machine that founded us. Which is slowly eating itself.

This doesn’t mean it can’t be great despite what we have grown up woven into.

If I woke up everyday and thought about all that I put online and that I was in fear daily that someone was going to do something about it, I would have probably had a heart attack by now. As a tf I realize that none of this matters, they can never data farm my soul, that my soul will always be free, even moreso if I don’t ascribe to this fear-based thinking. That is what holds everyone down. FEAR.

There’s so much fighting going on in the media, but on Tumblr, there is so much love being spread. It makes me sad that this intense fear is getting so intricate that it is leveling our resources of connection. Perhaps one day, we will have to go back to connecting only face to face.

This brings me back to the paying attention to love over fear. In all cases, of whatever situation you are in, think back to the core of love, the foundation for the Universe and it’s web that cannot be broken. During tough times and rough energy, this is a good tool to implement as it will bring us a lot higher than being driven down by daily drudgery.

If you keep practicing and spreading love, it will¬†do something. It’s the only way to neutralize the fear that is so prevalent in today’s society.



I seem to be at a loss for words

I am currently unable to write anything palpable. Bear with me. Maybe in a few days.

For now:

-Things are coming at me so fast and it’s obvious I have no control over what is happening. I’ve had to let go of the reigns to allow things to coalesce as they do. I like letting go and letting someone else handle things, sometimes. I can be a perfect potato when necessary

– As I ask, it comes. And I’ve asked of a whole bunch of things that are all coming at once. It is hard to keep up with the frequency of it, but that will die down in time.

РI am coaching some new twins, which generally means I have to talk them out of a black hole. I am the middle man. I can open your toolbox and allow you to see the tools you have. You must choose which tools you use and how you use them. With simple instruction, you can understand the fundamentals, but it takes practice and experience to use them to your advantage.

– The general idea is to ride the wave. This isnt normal energy by any means. But you will be surprised how many dead branches are shooken off by this type of energy. I have lost more people only to gain more. This is just how it works.

– I put everything in the Universes hands when they get too obnoxious or tough. Then I laugh when the tormentor must deal with her instead of me. I am easy compared. I learned this young. Which is why I don’t believe in revenge. I believe in balance. And balance can be a motherfucker. ;*

– Truth is always God and truth will always come to the fore. Any deceptive practices will be illuminated, so expect that. No matter what. Truth will always be law. I take comfort in that.

РFear AND love are very difficult for twins to deal with. It is our fear of love that makes us so crazy. In time, we figure out how to accept the love. I was told over and over by my twin that I didnt believe that he loved me. This wasnt true. I always knew he loved me and still does.  What it was that bothered me was his interest in other women despite our connection. Totally a different story.

– We’re all getting hammered with this energy and it’s not quite over yet. In Sept, we have three more eclipses which will be probably as strong as these: Aug 18, Sept 1, Sept 16


Proof of Sopheriel extracting information from me, my blogs, my website


Sopheriel Speaks is a blog on Tumblr that has taken information straight from my blog to not only make a twin flame post about it, but to use my words in answers to asks. I think this person needs to stop using me, my blogs and my website by attempting to EXTRACT information to make themselves look like they know what they’re talking about.. Now, if you WERE a twin flame, you should know all the stuff that I posted without having to ask me questions anonymously to get answers for your post.

1st anon

How do I know that this person is Sopheriel? I had them saved in my Statcounter from the last time we butted heads on what they posted. This ask came in the night of March 17th. There were five anons that night: all from Sopheriel’s IP address.


Now, these are the other anons posted that night:



View original post 652 more words

A few misconceptions

This week has been very illuminating to how others feel about twins. A few misconceptions came to light and I would like to illuminate those who are perhaps confused.

  1. We are not perfect. I do not wake up with rainbows and laser lights shining out of my ass. We are regular people. I curse like a trucker. You will get off the phone with me and probably have to go to church. We all have flaws and that’s WHY we are twins in separation. We are working our negativity out to become more positive. We do not always HAVE¬†to be positive either. That would be a giant LIE. Many times we do not feel positive and to expect that is ludicrous. We all have issues, jobs, things we don’t like, characteristics we’re trying to shed. Anyone who even seems positive all the time is just pretending. Let’s be real. We are real people.
  2. We chose this. I chose this like I chose my gender, (natural..haha) hair color and race. Instead, like all the rest of the twins I know, it has been thrust upon me. Perhaps as a parting gift for all of the lives I have lived. If it were truly a parting gift, it wouldn’t be so difficult. But, there are positive sides to it as well. Ultimately, we feel as outcasts because no one else has to go through this near us, usually. And that is very hard. This is why I’m always promoting talking¬†with twins.
  3. I saw a few comments about sex and gender and sexual preference. This blog is anti-racism and anti-sexism. Twins come in all type of flavor and color and sexual preferences. I am neutral on all of these things because this really doesnt encumber what a twin flame is and therefore it is not my job to address these things. My job is to help twins.
  4. A twin flame is two people. There are blogs that believe other things. This is their perception. All of the twins I deal with have one twin. A couple think they have two but I think in time, they will come to find they only have one.
  5. The things we do are negative. As we get thrown into this, there are things we do that aren’t like normal peoples’ relationships. And when we go into separation, there are also things we do that aren’t normal. Judging us for doing what we feel is natural is negative. So please don’t. We don’t live normal lives after we figure out this twin thing. Our negativity comes out and we have to check ourselves, each time. Each part of it is a learning experience. But what most normal people don’t understand is that there is no such thing as negativity. It is just what is. All of the things that happen, HAVE TO happen for a reason. And perception and expectation is the thing that labels something as negative or positive.
  6. Long distance. This got brought up today and I wrote a blog about it awhile ago. Many twins tend to gravitate to two separate points on the globe, sometimes there is a third or fourth. But we are at a distance often. For a reason. It helps soothe us I think. If your twin were close during separation, this would probably be a disaster.
  7. “It is awesome being a twin flame!” No, it’s not. It is very, very, very hard and this is a daily fight.We are fighting with ourselves. It is painful. Like I said, we do have positive parts that are really cool, but after the initial meeting and hangout (3-7 months, sometimes a few years,) we’re in separation for an exorbitant amount of time to work stuff out. And during regular people holidays, social events, parties, we are alone and people then ask,”Did you get married yet?” My answer is, “Yes, but he ran away.. haha.” And we both laugh. Haha. Heh.
  8. The ultimate goal is to be with your twin. РThis actually translate honestly into: The ultimate goal is to fix yourself so that you can be with your twin. Why else would we go through all this shit? To repost pictures of mountain ranges, angels and buddha memes? LOL!
  9. You can just call/label yourself a twin flame. No, you cannot take on the definition unless you have three features of this “thing,” that doesn’t link up with a regular or soulmate relationship. Real twins have it. Those who are not sure, don’t. I realized these three things tonight as grand indicators. There’s even a few more I would consider on the list as well. True twins will be able to comment and be right on the money because we all have to go through it. And in general, being in this for about two years now, it is very easy to figure it out from just talking to the person.

I will add to this list as I come up with more within the sphere. Til then.


Vichyssoise.. a French potato¬†soup. My cat is called “my cat” because she is a cat and not a dog. These are defining labels. It helps us identify them. A twinnnnnnflame is a twin flame. A soul sliced in TWO¬†residing in two separate bodies.

Not 3 or 4 or cartoons or pillows or ice cream cones.

The relationship is defined, has it’s own set of stages and symptoms as well as us. And we are identified under the same common traits that we share with other twin flames. That’s what defines us. If we don’t have x, y and z, we are not twins. We¬†have yet to come up with a true test for this, but I’m sure in time we¬†will.

Conversely, you can not just say, because you feel like it, I am a twin flame. If you don’t hold the same attributes as twins, then you are not a twin!

There are many people in the community that have unnecessary negativity towards twins and the label. “Who cares about labels, we all need to let go of the labels. Who cares what you are?”

Yeah that works for soulmates and regular people. But once you realize you are a twin, there’s no going back. And that’s why it’s necessary for twins to stick together. Because other people don’t really understand this thing that happens to us.

I have a few theories that I’ve come to understand better¬†in the last few days. When we realize and recognize our twin, we have then activated and opened this strange portal. We are no longer just the human being we are, we are the many humans before it too. This opens up and releases many things we forgot and then begin remembering. As we remember, this can be painful because many times, the strongest parts and most painful parts of past lives will come through. This is also when we can no longer go back to living like a normal person. Nope. Now we’re twins. And then all of these strange things begin to unfurl around us. We are one soul that has traveled through many lives, often with our twin.

As twins we can see right through to the intention, the core, the most important information. This helps unlock the ego. Many times I would fight with my twin and I could feel both layers at the same time. The love layer and the ego layer. And that causes friction because you don’t know how to feel. I love you but why are you doing this. Or why am I?

As we work out our negativity, and yes it gushes out at moments, we are going through some type of energetic rebalancing. We have to go through this to see what is real and what is part of who we were told we were as the original human before we recognized our twin. And then we have to cut that person off of us. Through actions. Each one. Slowly. And as time goes on, we become more positive than negative.

I love my twin. That will never change. But I say some of the most fucked up things to him in times of anger. At a distance. This will not work. So until I undo all of my negativity, we have to stay separate.

Each twin couple has their issues. I had a twin ask me last night. What is keeping you apart? I told them.

We, as twins, don’t have the same perception after we go through this recognition period. We also do some very strange things including stalking, constantly thinking of your twin, random bursts of anger and crying. Do what you have to do to rebalance with your twin. Do what feels right to you. We are all learning. Don’t let others’ views of us encumber you. And definitely keep fighting the negativity off of you. Keep unraveling the ego. Keep seeing the love. We are not like regular people anymore. So why do we have to live like them? We can’t!

I do believe that we as twins are connected.This is also one of the theories I came up with when I would think of twins I knew on Tumblr, an hour would pass and one would call. Or the next day one would send me an urgent message. We are able to see right through things. I’ve had a few twins lie¬†to me and because I love them, I understand this is an old behavior pattern they are working through and they, over time, have stopped. THAT IS INCREDIBLE!

We do have a lot of abuse hurled at us because people don’t understand what we go through. I haven’t eaten in two days because I was trying to figure out this puzzle. With my twin friend Robin’s help, the wall just fell down. And everything has fallen into place again.

If something is off or feels wrong or confusing, there is a reason. We can sense the inconsistencies. We cut right to the point. The fluff disperses and the core shines through, whatever the core may be. The lies phase out and the truth is uncovered. Truth might as well be synonymous with love. It is basically the same thing.

This series of eclipses has been unbelievably rough. But as twins, we are strong and eternal and infinite, just like any other soul, but we remember that and it changes things. We are pure energy.

Keep persevering. Don’t stop. Keep going.





Proof of Sopheriel extracting information from me, my blogs, my website

Sopheriel Speaks is a blog on Tumblr that has taken information straight from my blog to not only make a twin flame post about it, but to use my words in answers to asks. I think this person needs to stop using me, my blogs and my website by attempting to EXTRACT information to make themselves look like they know what they’re talking about.. Now, if you WERE a twin flame, you should know all the stuff that I posted without having to ask me questions anonymously to get answers for your post.

1st anon

How do I know that this person is Sopheriel? I had them saved in my Statcounter from the last time we butted heads on what they posted. This ask came in the night of March 17th. There were five anons that night: all from Sopheriel’s IP address.


Now, these are the other anons posted that night:

ANON 1-a

ANON 3-a


I spoke about the person giving TF answers on their blog in a response to the anon because I knew it was Sopheriel where they blatantly responded, pretending to not be them.

I said I didnt want to expose their blog because it would be detrimental to them.

I also spoke of many things within these anons that are now showing up in Sopheriel’s Negativity in Twin Flame Culture post.

FOR EXAMPLE: I wrote this


for it to be turned into this by Sopheriel:

non twin relationships

I spoke of stalking in an anon asked a few days back and it got great response because stalking is very big in the twin flame communitySTALKING ANON

And Sopheriel used it in his blog and this is what it translated into:



I speak to 40-50 twin flames since I have been in separation. Most of the twins stalk their twin to some degree and I explained it in my answer about stalking. It IS normal twin flame behavior.

But wait! There’s more!

I spoke of how all twins talk and are the same, in a sense. I coach twins online in early separation to help them through the worst part. And yes, we all have the same patterns and basically all talk the same way. And all of us have to go through the hard part of getting detached from our twin and also having to work out our pain in separation, while feeling crazy energy from their twins. You never feel the same after you have a twin flame relationship. My take:

twinflames are the same ME

And Sopheriels snap back in their blog:



I spoke of how we process the ego out through acting up and hurting our twins, but not meaning to. This is us as twins attempting to break our bad behaviors and false core beliefs that we learned as kids. And this is what I wrote about it:


And this is Sopheriels take on it:



I spoke about twins being only interested in their twin, because thats how a REAL twin flame feels. This is what I wrote:



And this is Sopheriel’s take on it:

non twin relationships

I speak of twin flames being connected. This is because I HAVE HAD TO LIVE IT! My twin friends and I are all psychic and I think we all connect on this web. This is my OWN THEORY and Sopheriel is using this in an answer to an ask.

My version


This is Sopheriel using the same thing



I also posted that goal #1 is to get back with our twin:GOAL 1 TO GET BACK WITH OUR TWIN

And Sopheriels:


Most of the information from Sopheriel’s post Negativity in twin flame culture is right off my blog. Sopheriel also decided to check out my website out to grab some info off of there too.

sopheriel on TFUsopheriel on TFU2sopheriel on TFU3sopheriel on TFU4

Sopheriel wrote yesterday that he didn’t have time to answer asks¬†because he was working on a twin flame blog


Do you know why he didnt have time? He was busy lapping up info from my twin flame pages..ALL DAY LONG

march 20th part 2March 20th pt 3


20 march sopheriel

tfu march 18th soph00000000

So when all of Sopheriel’s¬†research is just what I wrote and switched around to please them, they¬†should¬†CITE¬†where they¬†got most of their¬†information from! This otherwise is called PLAGIARISM! And that is illegal. I will be seeking legal councel. Why? Because if¬†this person is doing it to me, they are probably doing it to someone else.

All of the information I have synthesized from my own experiences. I have had to live through this to be able to bring content to the community.

You can’t PRETEND to be a twin flame. You either are or you’re not. And currently, you are only illuminating yourself as a FRAUD.

Oh.. and your unpublished ASK from last night:5th non answered anon.PNG

Twins don’t consider their twins as “twins” Why? Because we just KNOW.




First rule of twin flame club..

Keep Calm Generator 1458360457958

Is that you dont write about it unless you are one. Dont spread false information about the twin flame community. It’s already hard enough being a twin with out people who aren’t twins inventing their own twists and adding false information into the web. This drives all twins insane. Im sure everyone thinks we’re all 18 year old girls crushing on a hot boy. This is not how this works and this is not the truth. No.

If you see something: say something to me. I will address it.





Thank you all for everything

Another newly recognized twin flame. In my circle. I saw her at my best friend’s engagement party tonight. I explained it to her and she said,” Well, what if the other doesn’t want you anymore?” and I laughed and explained.

As you all already know, I’m in a very strange position explaining it as I go thru it, while being shadowed.

After a conversation with the grid, I am no longer allowed to give out anymore information, at all. About myself or the tf process unless solicited directly. It insists. It says I must go back into the force and “blend.” To reintegrate into society and follow the new rules it has laid out for me. Things are getting crazy for me now, anyway.

We never asked for this. None of us. I know how hard it is. I have many catch phrases that I use on twins although it’s not always easy to follow through with them because they are much like difficult stomach exercises. It’s annoying/it hurts/it’s uncomfortable. And I dont always follow them either. The most prevalent is this “Remember and think of the love, not the fear.” And even if you have to remind yourself 6 million times, that is THEE theme of the twin flame. As well as life.


We made promises that can’t be unsigned. I am never going to give up my fight to be done with this and get us through. We will figure out the way. It might get ugly before it gets better. Whatever it takes..ya know? I have to apologize. Never in a million years would I choose this as “the way” for us. What a horrible process to just become lovers! Whatever force¬†invented this is INSANE!¬†I wouldn’t put anyone through this process, even if I disliked them. We never chose it yet, here we are. We’ve learned a lot, but I’d rather just have my metaphysical husband back instead of playing this “game.” It’s a truly miserable process that I hope ends soon. I’m jealous of all of the people who dont have to go through this to keep their husbands and wives. Doesn’t seem fair. I hope my silence helps.


It has been a pleasure writing on here and maybe one time in the future, I will return.

Any personal inquiries, please send to the email on the contact page.

Thank you all for being amazing.

Talking to energy

People keep asking me in different ways how I “do this,” how I get information from other places and I will give you a short rundown of it. Most twins can energetically FEEL their twins and their energy from any distance, even from the afterlife (it’s not so after, it’s right here.)

And I think that’s what “awakening” is about. You and everyone else is now being awakened to all of what it true and what and where you came from. Not just Mom and Pop, but way before. I always urge twins new to separation to get involved on Tumblr with twins on there because they do pass some very valuable information across the plane.

The plane being the interwoven energies of the Universe. And twins pick it right up and we compound all that information and grow from it.

We are not what they told us that we are. We are far more than that. We have abilities that most people would host a 60 Minutes on, not realizing, they have the same, they are just not in tune with it. To get in tune with it, meditation works.

I won’t get too into it, but I have been able to play with and manipulate energy since I was young. Many of the twins I deal with also have special abilities. I also grew up with a mother¬†who said to us as kids that in 100 years, we won’t have bodies and that it was seen and told¬†by a philosopher and visionary. We wanted to know how and she explained quantum physics, lightly. She also taught us meditation as young kids. “Do you want to go to CCD (Catholic School) or learn meditation?” “Learn meditation.”

Meditation in 4 easy steps:

  1. Lie down in a quiet place.
  2. Relax your whole body from your head to your toes.
  3. See numbers from 25-1 while singing a song. If you mess up, start again. This slows your breathing.
  4. The moment you are “in” or “down,” bless or surround all friends and family members in golden light.

As I grew up, with certain large addictions I had, each time I quit them, things would magically get better. All would align. Opportunities would rush at me. When I was back on whatever it was, the energy and opportunities would dwindle. I saw this as something talking to me, telling me how to go about this. Guiding me.

Belief systems are very solid boxes that we have been instilled with and each of those boxes can be filled and emptied with whatever beliefs exist or don’t. Anything can be in those boxes and each person has very different beliefs. On a large and wide scale though, those beliefs tend to be similar. Take God in whatever religion you hold and match God against all of the other religions. There tends to be a bit of overlapping, much like musical sounds via area they came from. Serbian music sounds like Greek music sounds like Italian music…etc. There’s shifting, but it’s all intertwined.

All beliefs we believe to be TRUE because that is what we are TOLD and over time we ADOPT them. This doesn’t mean that they are true, it’s just what we believe. You do not have to stick with the ones that you were given. In fact, you probably should form your own and make a beliefs and values list to better understand your own self.

I find that as I break old beliefs, concrete ones that were set in me for years and years, that it makes room for new beliefs and also a lot more energy. In the past two years I could make a list that would blow most people’s minds with what I thought¬†before and what I¬†think now. This is also where habits get broken. I NEED this. You don’t really NEED anything as a human except food, water, sleep, love and happiness. And maybe a peaceful¬†place to live and sleep.

We can become lighter as we open ourselves up to believing anything is possible. In essence, who makes the rules? You do.

If you keep scraping the distractions off the top of everything, you have a core. If you scrape off The American Idol and eyebrows and what do I wear tonight and who threw out my favorite watch and all of the constant blabble that surrounds us, what do you have? Peace and quiet and some time to think. AKA Meditation.

I found the peaceful place to live and sleep and then I kept cutting off all of the distractions. I don’t watch TV, cut all ungrateful¬†friends out, I don’t even believe in “bad” energy anymore. There’s not really much left. But it is in that quiet space that I can hear all of these “things.”

And I’m not saying that what I hear is gospel or true. It is what is told to me and most of the time, through a weird type of mental communication I have with the “web” of the Universe. I can’t hear it, but I turn it into words to identify with it to describe it to myself and others. Maybe I’m a walking alien? Maybe..

I guess it’s just that over time, you talk to energy enough and it begins to make sense.

We went to a psychic when I was in college and she told us that the best way to get more psychic is at the end of your day, remember your day backwards. I tried this and it didnt work but I found other focusing techniques that worked instead. I always found that meditation was the best focusing tool. It also helps to feel things. Feel the energy and try to figure out what it is telling you. Guessing also is a part of this. I would do random guessing on incoming phone calls¬†and¬†texts for the past ten years. I’ve gotten quite good at guessing. I would call this interpretation.

So what do you have then?

  1. to believe the energy and the signs
  2. to feel it
  3. to focus through quiet contemplation/meditation
  4. to interpret it

That’s it!

Try a fun exercise tonight. Let’s change a belief! Say to yourself :

“I can do anything that I would like to with my life because I am able to and anything is possible.”

And say it over and over until you believe it. And see where that goes.

Your belief in yourself is very important part of your place and understanding the Universe. Once you realize that no one holds you back, that nothing can hold you back, everything expands in a really great way. Self-love is integral to aligning with the Universe. It helps you hear things better.

A message from the Divine Lineage about Resistance

I was in bed, happily rolled into covers and I said: Geez, it’s been quiet. And then Scott came to me and changed all that. He said I need another favor. I said, yea sure. I miss you, btw. And he was like Yeah, yeah..this is important.

I said OK. He said you need to pray that I make it through this barrier soon. They are gonna find me soon (Or I am am going to find out about him soon) and I need to break thru the barrier to get reborn. Can you pray I get thru?

I said Whatever you want. Knowing just fine that this is not how this works. (It’s all already written.)

He said thank you, thank you.

And then a larger force came in to use me as a channel to get a message thru.

The message being about resistance and current eclipse situations.

Now. Understand I have been talking and been being used as this channel for sometime and we equally use each other. Tonight, they insist I post this blog before I go to bed.


Where I stand in understanding, we are part of a giant web of electric information called the Universe. There are sweater arms to it that extend off the Earth and into space. This is because a lot of information comes from off the planet in energetic form. I am not saying aliens do or do not exist. I am saying there is energetic information coming from everty part of the Universe as we know it, on Earth and off. Part of this information is in a set of thin lines/ very thin points of light/energy(?) (I see it as that) called “The Divine Lineage” or as others like to call it, Ascended Masters. They are part of the instrumental writing of this whole story.

Now, if you understand we are players in the story, certain things cannot happen during the times that other things happen. I am speaking with a twin about this, about he and a soulmate and it’s just not working. I said, then stop doing it and focus on yourself. Why? Because it’s not going to work with the resistance that is pushing against it.

I was taught in film school that if you push too hard on a piece of equipment, you will break it and ensue thousands of dollars in problems. This is not always the case, but essentially: You cannot push something that doesn’t fit. And the longer I am in this grand and awesome “story” I see things set up in such synchronization that I cant believe anything but it being a story. The story is delicately woven with time and thought mathematically sewn in by, you guessed it, the Divine Lineage.

They are also a part of the way that the planets affect us. And this includes eclipses which tend to have a very opening or shutting effect on situations.

It gets better cos my interpretation of 1.5 divine lineage just came to me in very sharp metal pointed suits (as smoking hot women) with similar headgear glowing purple and told me to tell you to all


I will have to turn all of these weird things that come to me into a page on here when I’m not going to sleep.

If you are worried I have consumed something special tonight, the most exciting thing that I have had is Jasmine Tea.

So anyway, they, she and another halfish one came and told me to tell everyone to relax and watch for this resistance. To not push against resistance, but to only say yes to those situations saying yes to you.

What do I mean? Example: I just got off the plane a week ago and usually I would be like, Dear sister, why are you bringing me to a spiritual gathering, I was just on a ten hour flight? Instead I said yes to the situation, went, and met people who told me things I needed to know including: YOU CANNOT HELP THE TWIN.

Which I already knew but they put it differently: YOU CANNOT RESCUE ANYONE. And that sank in.

I had many of these ah-ha moments, like when another time someone said,”You carve the way people treat you.”

Another resistance situation. Me being awakened after doing a 13 hour get better quick nap to get over food poisoning before jumping a plane by my periodontist’s office. The woman kept talking and I kept saying no to her and she couldnt hear me so she made an appt with me at the wrong time of the day.¬†I was going to reschedule but I will keep this appt. ¬†Something tells me I should. Guess what day that is slated for? The 8th. The first eclipse. Perf.

Another yes situation. I kept getting sick and grossed out from all the food on my trip that I had a vegan salad the morning I got up in Lake Tahoe. And it was fantastic. My pants are falling off of me already! And when I came home I had no cheese left so I think I will try out vegetarianism/veganism. I like vegetables and they always like me back! I also like animals! YES all around!

So I will write this out better, the understandings I have been coming to have, the reason why there is nothing to fear (cos basically youre always protected and cannot escape the weave or it’s story) another time.

This applies to anyone, not just twins.

I know this all sounds insane and perhaps my visual equations of it are crazy, but this is how it is told to me. I am apparently going to be used to get messages across and this is fine. I can handle that responsibility.

During eclipses, if you lose people(/places/things/jobs/cars,) it was meant to happen. You cannot hold onto every single person in the world forever, it just doesnt work like that. At one point a few years back, I lost like 200 people over acquaintances, friends, best friends, whatevs! Every single one was just like POOF! All of them are GONE! I DONT CARE! It’s OK! GO! Don’t take it personally. We all have the next lily pad we need to jump to, we’ll all get over it. If I see you again, I’ll wave¬†and¬†smile.

There is this frantic energy with some twins to claw their twins back to them. That is never going to happen and if you have this energy, it is definitely not going to happen, myself a casualty of this as well. This is the type of energy I confront often.


You need to chill and relax and go to a movie and maybe for a run and perhaps a really long one to think. If you see someone running at you, it kinda makes you nervous, no? When you are in this position and many of us have been there, you have got to remember your self worth and all of the positive traits about yourself. You are perfect as you are, you deserve the world and the right person comes (back) at the right time. If they don’t come back right away, go do something else. The list is extensive. There¬†is always plenty to do. Be creative.

But definitely don’t work with closed people/energy/paths. That’s not gonna work. It’s like begging someone to be your friend. The resistance is there to tell you that something is broken and needs to be fixed before it can fit correctly. Work with situations that say yes to you. Do not work with the ones that are closed, disinterested, non-communicative or dead to you. It will be like dancing in the dark when you keep moving into yes positions. And things will then illuminate for you.

Good night and good luck.





Fun in behavior breaking

Being on this path for awhile now and in touch with some people who are forward and progressive thinkers, I’ve come into the understanding that change is not bad and also can be fun and exciting.

We may feel stuck at times and so I hope this blog helps a bit to change that.

We’re molded and slapped into our restricted adult states and many of us do not agree with the way this was done nor the resulting effect. This leads to bad perceptions of ourselves and feeling guilt, shame, negativity in trying to be ourselves.

One person I deal with is perfectionist. I said to her,”I give you permission to be a mess for a day. To completely go off routine and do what you like to do. You dont have to be perfect everyday.” And she said,” Thank you,”like I freed her from something horrible.

We dont have to do anything and at the same time, we can do anything. The only person who stops us is ourselves. So for those who need it, I would suggest you grant permission to yourself today for things you would like to. And only you know what these things are.

And in some cases, it doesnt have to be a complete loss of control by granting permission. Say if you have soft willpower, grant yourself permission to be stronger. “I grant myself permission to make healthy choices, I grant myself permission to take time to do pilates each morning, I grant myself permission to get restful sleep at night.

It can go anyway you want it to go. Obviously, don’t do illegal things, that will just land you in jail. But, I think you catch my drift.

We’re brought into this world under someone else’s hand. The idea in eliminating behaviorial problems is to make yourself happy and live a happy life. Then the ill behaviors tend to melt. Once core is aligned then the rest falls into place.

The way we view ourselves is a big part of this. If there is a limiting view of yourself, your abilities, your personal view of yourself..imagine that it is not there. Imagine you CAN do anything you want and are ABLE to do the things you want to do. They have the exercise,”Imagine you had a million dollars, what would you do? And do it anyway.” Because its not usually the lack of resource, its the lack of belief that you can do said thing. Money can be found. And the same goes for how you feel about yourself.

Imagine you were the perfect version of yourself. What would you do differently? Take the time and use this as an exercise and it will bring your spirit up. I am using this exercise now and have been during my whole vacation. My daily habits have changed drastically.

You can be anything you want. You can do anything you want. In fact, the quicker you get to this understanding, the faster you will realize your dreams. The limiting factors are holds placed in your mind by others which may have stunted you or your spirit, but you can let those go now. I give you permission.





Silver Lake explained/Hell Drive 2

One of the worst drives I had ever taken was with my twin during a lake effect blizzard through New York State a few years back. He was driving and it was INSANE. It was so bad I was surprised they didn’t shut the road down and it came from out of nowhere. One minute it was fine, the next there was 3 inches of snow on the ground and people could barely maneuver their cars. It was very scary.

Tonight’s drive started like a beautiful sunny green springy California hills drive. It was fun. I rented an SUV that can really hug the road and has a lot of power despite it being good on gas. All’s well. 3 hour drive from Sonora, C.A. to South Lake Tahoe. Can’t be that hard.


I begin the drive strong. Going up hills like a champ, people moving, using the extended lane to get around others, pumping happily through 64 degree dewy spring weather. Classical on the radio, eventually turning to mild jazz. Cool. Around the half way mark of the trip I realize, I’m in a mountain range and it’s really easy to drive it. Each side is illuminated with double reflector sticks to keep you on road. There’s a bit of snow, not an animal in site. I get around a few slow drivers and it begins to feel REAL COMFORTABLE.

So comfortable, my eyes begin to tear. I know that feeling. I’ve been here before.

I take it in, it’s fine. I’m zipping through 25-40 mph curves. The road is HUGGING me. I checked out the GPS to see exactly where I was. 30 miles from the 89 on Rt.88. There was no town marker at that point. Around 20 miles out the feeling leaves and a sign of a few towns pops up. Which town is on there? SILVER LAKE.

Shut up!

To explain. I asked for my twin at a beach in Spring Lake, NJ. He came to visit with me a few times and each time he couldn’t get over the name. He kept calling it Silver Lake. We never could figure that out. I think I did tonight.

I see a giant double decker snow mover. Not a plow or anything normal sized. No, this guy was 40 feet in the air riding this machine. And I’m just like.. and let it go.

So I’m all excited and talking out this blog to myself and all’s happy and my eyes are teary and then a car is beaming me and it’s real bright and there’s these two red signs. I’m like..Hmm.. red, that’s probably important. Now as I’m leading up to this area, snow on the sides of the road is getting really thick and tall. Almost 6 feet. Whoa!

So, the car passes and within one second all happy feelings begin to dwindle very fast. The sign says as the road begins to close in,” AVALANCHE AREA: NO PARKING, NO STOPPING, NO PEDS”


Oh man. So my blog recital goes into a pip squeak and then to a halt. The snow that was at 6 feet grows immensely and very fast. Now it’s twelve feet. Now it’s twenty-five¬†feet. Now it’s forty feet. I drive so delicately, it is small and tight and wet and there’s no one there to really be like a guide. Nope.


As I think all is well and cozy as the road opens up and snow doesnt look like it’s going to topple over onto me. But the road is still wet. And the temperature is now 37. And there’s a truck behind me coming up fast. And then, I go around a turn and hear whooshing. Like really loud whooshing. That can’t be wind, right? I shut off the radio.

That’s wind and this guy is all the way up my ass and I’m breaking, going 60 and the car begins to slam forward without my doing. It gets stuck in 3rd gear revving downwards as the wind is pushing me super fast. WTF is this shit? I’m at 8000 feet. I’m going over a CANYON.

The drive gets very messy from this point forward and I’m having an impossible time controlling the car. The guy is still lodged in my ass. I’m breaking and it’s doing nothing. The wind is howling and the car is swaying and the road is about 1 foot wide. I can’t see shit and the turns begin to get very windy.

But wait, it gets better cos then there’s another avalanche area. I am gripping the wheel very tight in windy silence trying to keep the car in control while jettisoning through this conduit of absolute natural torture. I go around a bend and understand where it would be coming from. I am sandwiched up again a two hundred foot tall mountain of snow, on the edge of a canyon with 65 mph winds. It’s on the left this time, not the right. The one thing that comes into my head,”Now I understand Santa Ana winds.”

I went up the mountian¬†for an hour and a half and now I’m going back down it. Yay. Yay for an hour straight. 50-60 mph winds for about that long. I see a calm left turn. The turn onto Rt. 89. It’s in 3 miles. And then two and then one and where is it? I am in the middle of darkness with wind howling and I can’t see anything. I stop the car in the middle of the road where the gps tells me to and open the door. “That’s it?!” I look up the sky and it is grey with stars. I am in the middle of nowhere and have to go down the dark scary road.

And I do.

The winds begin to calm. In 15 miles I am in Tahoe. There’s a giant (LED lit) (I forgave them quickly) Christmas tree. My phone begins accepting notifications again. Another blog has added me on Tumblr.¬†I see a Starbucks. The terror has ended.



Great news


I AM LUMINOUS!! One of my girls has stopped hitting the wall, has accepted that she needs to do a little work and is now in the process of divorcing her husband! This is so great! I was moved to tears today with her bold actions and stepping up to the plate. To see one of my twin friends move is to watch us all move. This is beyond exciting for me because shes making the right choices to stay faithful to her twin and make room for him, despite being married. Im so happy to see movement and positive action. Xo to you and your twin, baby!!

What else on the roster? Each week I have 1-4 people Im helping w something.

My friend has just relocated and were helping set up accts to get him higher in artistic hiarchy to get him where he wants to go.

I am also talking someone out of suicide. Which is a multi layered task and has an abnormal timeframe based on emotions. Shes far too young and doesnt believe in the afterlife, so Im using whatever i know to get her out. I think its working.

Also. One of my twin friends is moving into the city and that is big cos I finally can hang out and chill w her.

Lastly, Im taking a large vacation w my sister. Very excited and think it will be cool.

Lots of good things moving.

Ill keep this short.


Happy Valentine’s Day twins

We are having some very strong waves this week, very similar to Mercury Retrograde that seem to be impacting over the past few days. It’s making a lot of stuff move and I sense it’s the impending March eclipses as I felt them as far back as January.

I had chunkily coughed out a blog this morning for this and I’ve decided to hold onto it for later. (It needs major editing as it’s not flowing correctly.)

Instead, perhaps, my only advice for now would be to just say something nice to your twin however you communicate. They will feel it and it will bring you both higher.



My house is booming and cracking. It does this when it gets below 20 degree weather. Everything is always moving. Nothing is ever solid.

Except for the love of your twin flame.

That is solid.


As you read this, somewhere your twin is thinking about you.

Happy Valentine’s Day.




Era: have an amazing time in Germany! (Inserts Iphone emojis) haha

Singapore: Haaaaiiiiiiiiz. I’ll be in touch around July. Til then. NO MORE PEACHY!




Twin Flame vs. Twin Soul vs. Twin Ray

I came across a link last night that explained that there are such a delineation to the groups of soul connections. Since it’s a lot to write out and I don’t really care to, please refer to this link to see what I’m talking about.

Anytime I come across something that seems questionable to me, I send it through to the other five original twin flames that I began talking to as I entered separation. The reason I send it to them is because as a whole entity, we do establish truth. Not that I cannot make my own decisions or act alone. I know how I feel about it, but I ask them to give me their opinion and¬†it’s an overwhelming NO on the above article.

Why? We feel that they don’t know what they are talking about, that they are inventing these ideas to make it perfect. I believe, as I have talked to many twins, that there is only one twinflame/ray/soul. There are not 12+7+1.

This doesn’t mean that one doesn’t have other soul connections. Soulmates are very real and sometimes with differing intensity. I do have some friends that are exact copies of me, rather than the mirror. They might have another name for that. I’m not sure, nor do I care.

As twins we understand our connection to our twin to be sacred. It is true quantum entanglement. You can’t NOT love them. And your life will change because of such love.

No other of my soulmates have this effect, although they bring a lot of love into my life. My twin friends all have their own connection to me, which is also deep. But none have the ability that my twin flame does in mirroring or intense energy or telepathy.

Based on the above link and other links that feel this expanded soul connection idea is truth, there isnt much difference between twin flames and twin rays based on definition of what they have offered. And there will never be a way to PROVE it. We all must go on feelings and energy alone.

As real twin flames, we do not ascribe to made up definitions or theories. We can sense truth and anything that falls outside of truth, stands out like an alien. But still, everyone is still entitled to their own opinions.



Aside: I just got an email from my mom:”Maybe there are two?” And it had a class for finding your soulmate attached. I laughed and said “If there is more than one, I’d probably be dead from intensity alone. I have many soulmates who I have great karmic relationships with.”

My family all have different reactions to my spiritual awakening and the twin flame quandary. My mother, who has an opinion of each one of my boyfriends, surprisingly never had one of my twin. It was always neutral and so I find that interesting. My cousin who I just spoke about it in great length on the way there and back from snowboarding is doing his best at digesting it. He’s actually doing really well with it and I’m bringing him to a chakra bowl meditation soon. My sister has a twin flame and we won’t get into it but she has always been accepting of my twin except as I went into separation. She was quite angry. I told her to relax. She has since relaxed and is going through it with hers now.

I am lucky to have an amazing amount of twins in my first circle: my only girl¬†cousin, my sister, three friends I grew up with, one’s twin being the first guy I lived with while I dated him (her pleading as my friend 20 years ago- please don’t date him, because she knew we would.) and my secretary. It’s weird how it’s just expanding around me. My one friend though, after I talked to him about it, was very adamant about it being a “bad thing to believe that they are coming back.” Well, one person’s denial is another person’s truth. His twin ran off and had a kid with someone else. I can understand the pain he must be feeling. He doesnt want to talk about it and so I just don’t anymore.

Girls, however, like talking about stuff. And although sometimes the Tetris board of emotions that separation provides seems impossible to switch around, it does, in time, move. That may be why it’s so “slow” of a process, but technically, it is very fast because we have to eat and accept many truths in a very short period of time.

I read “Spiritual Partnership” by Gary Zukav as I decended into separation almost two years ago, May. And I barely remember it, but somethings stuck out. One was that intention was a very important word because if you have the intention to do something, you will form your behaviors around it and it flows better than if you just say I’m going to do this. ( I also could be wrong, with this being another Zukav book, my apologies if so) But what did stick out in Spiritual Partnership was that honesty between the two spiritual partners was absolutely essential.

He uses one example of the two of them out dancing and there is a woman that he’s checking out. And his partner Linda asks,” Do you think she’s attractive.” And he says,”Yes.” And she says, “OK.” And there is more to this obviously, I’m skimming horribly, but what can the other do if one is attracted to someone? Absolutely nothing! We could get jealous and really what would that do but show off your own insecurities.

So then expand this: No matter what your twin is into or IS, you have to accept it and find a way to assimilate it. But then, what if your twin lies to you and says: No, this isnt me, even after you have plenty of proof that it is? This makes things very difficult because then, you are not only confused but also, you have no clue what is going on or who your twin is. And your relationship suffers because fear and doubt creep in because then you are questioning the energy between the two of you.

There was an article online that was discussing the one thing that would keep twins apart and it was lying. And it’s very true. If you are going to sit there and lie to your twin, they will look at you back and just say,”Bitch, please.” We know you inside out and backwards in a very short period of time. Now the lying part is not eternal, as you cant keep twins apart despite separation. We heal ultra quick and forgive with lightning speed. But the situation must change because no relationship can handle deception, especially when you are as close as twins are. Like if my twin came back and kept lying, we would go back into separation. Because that needs to be healed. Twins can’t stay together if one is lying.

Because in both ways, they are lying to themselves. Through denying it because they cant even admit it to themselves and also to you, who, technically IS them. So that’s twice the wound.

My twin would say,”Don’t believe this about me, I really like you!” And I would be very confused. But I know the truth now. And always will. This doesnt give¬†very much room to maneuver. And I’m sure that’s scary if you live in a world completely fabricated with deceptive actions and lies. But if you don’t..if you are honest with yourself and your twin and are straight up even about the most painful things, then who cares?

I could say a lllooootttttttttt of things right now. But I’m not going to. Instead, I will say this.

We worry about these ridiculous things that we have no control over and also arent based in reality. It’s a facade, it’s good press material or button pushing behavior care of your twin. But if you stay truthful to your vision and focus through this fucking awesome process, then you will be much happier. I am talking to some very nice people and our conversations ARE based in reality. All painful situations explained and aired in the open, therefore, honest and true friendships are being born.

I can’t lie about who I am to anyone. I have far too much twin flame blood on my hands Not that this is a consideration, but, I feel no necessity in lying about who I am to people.

Perfect example: my snowboarding incident last weekend. I am in shit shape, my legs are unable to support my twists and turns boarding for a good few hours. So, instead of kill myself and keep boarding, I got off the board, couldnt walk for two days and am now back at the gym building them up to support a hardcore thrashing. If I kept boarding, I would have probably gone to Emergency Room with major muscular damage. Gotta be honest with yourself.

I urge you to not only be honest with yourself, but also stretch yourself to answer any uncomfortable questions your twin asks you with truth. In time, it will all be forgotten and only stronger because you have built your relationship on a strong core. Not lies, which only promote fear and doubt.

Love is truth. Loving your twin means: I love you so much, I will tell you the truth so that I don’t harm or break our special connection. It will only make it stronger if you are honest. ¬†You can’t stay in a relationship with someone when you constantly lie to them. The relationship will just fall apart. Twin flame or not. With twins, its more serious because we can pick up on small inconsistencies in energy. I urge everyone having a hard time with this to practice being honest in their daily lives with family members and colleagues.












Omelette pictures

I am cooking a stir¬†fry for lunch today and I couldn’t help but think about how well my twin can chop vegetables. I have no patience for it.20160203_105128.jpg

So then I thought,”Let me be experimental and make a blog detailing all of the things I could think of that I like about him.”

His ability to chop vegetables is one. If you ever need someone to make you a mango salsa, my twin is your guy. He would send me a daily picture of the omelettes he made, vegetables sliced and diced into perfect centimeter cubes. We even went to a party once and I had him make a salad for the vegan crowd and we sat and watched across the table while people slowly inhaled it. In ten minutes, it was gone. I wish I took a time lapse of it.

He is very warm and sweet, a very snuggly guy. He has an accent unlike mine that is adorable and all of my friends have likened him to a farm boy. (The first time I talked to him I was like..Omg I’m gonna eat this guy alive.) He dresses pretty much like I do, no frills, but still stylish. He is still, in my opinion, the most gorgeous man on Earth. Weight gain or loss, floppy hair or not floppy hair, opinion intact.

He listens to really good music and that music range is vast, which makes it more interesting because usually (save the Brit Pop, haha) all of it I like. And I never meet people that listen to really good music like that. Consistently.

His body is even shaped like mine and the way that clothes sit on him, the way he walks, the way he dances, for me, is like being hypnotized. Like we all know that insane sexual energy you get when you literally want to eat someone’s flesh down to the bone. That’s how I feel when he prances around. At one point, I called him the wiggly ghost because this is a very good summation of it.

Many twins have an animal as their symbol and ours is a bunny. And it’s pretty accurate. He is soft and cuddly and cute and shy. His energy tends to be unlike a wave, but more like thousands of fireworks going off in a line. This is how I can easily find him online or know it’s him. It goes and goes. Maybe it’s all the asparagus.

Before I met him, I was like, “Who is this hot NYC photographer peeping on me?” And every time I looked at his face, it would change. Every single pic he looks different to me, so at one point way before we met, I stopped looking for pics of him. Instead, I formed a picture of a¬†cute blonde guy in my head and that is the best way for me to meet his energy. Even the colors of his hair and eyes would change to orange and grey in the right lights. He was like a shimmer of glittering energy. I don’t see the depression or the sadness that he spoke of. I see the underlying river of energy which is constant.

I think he made a good name for himself despite odds against him in the biggest city on Earth. It is hard to get recognized as an artist and his work was so prolific that it made it into big art websites and magazines. That’s because his vision is so strong and he is very focused. He is also really good at getting awesome jobs, which I suck at. He is shy, but that makes him work on these projects that are really very different than most art. I always thought it was cool that we were both artists and we both knew to stick around NYC to find each other.

His very opposite side of me: the slow, calm space cadet. But it works for him because he is kinda hazy. Most of his music is the same as well as his art. All blendy. Mine is sharp and colorful and brash. If we ever had a kid, they would be the most absolutely middle of the line kid ever based on our swings from left to right.

I like how he is delicate and can’t handle drinking. Or even when he gets upset and he can’t handle it. He once saw me slam my leg into a metal fan with the force of a tornado and I hurt my knee so bad that I fell over and screamed and almost lost consciousness. And there he is above me, “OH MY GODDDD! YOURE SO CUTE EVEN WHEN YOU’RE IN PAIN!” Well, kitten, the same goes for you too. Tears, red dots by your eyes, blotches on your face that you’re always pissed about, even when you’re puking.. All super cute. Hehe.

We are both writers too and his style, again, exact opposite of mine. We wrote a blog together and his would be a giant run on sentence of thoughts in motion. Mine was specifically detailed with tons of commas and periods. You could always tell who wrote which blog but I always found it interesting to hear how his mind thought.

From the beginning, our communication was very strong. I had to change my phone plan to unlimited for all of the texts that I was washed with. I’ve never met anyone who could text like he could.

And lastly, the magnetism that we had was like no other. We tried taking walks in the beginning of just meeting and we only lasted 15 minutes walking. It was very hard (LOL) in the beginning to really do anything, but have hours and hours of sex. And Im not a morning person, but he changed that. Little bunny sleeping was very soon little bunny being pounced on for the next half hour. And then there was tea and coffee and back in we went.

Let’s just say it was never boring..


















And he eats pussy like a fuckin rockstar but you didnt read that.




The last bit of the running phase

I’m fighting with myself deciding whether to make this a TFU post or not. I will, just in case it helps any other twins confused. I was just going to write this straight to my twin, but perhaps it can benefit others as well.

I didn’t plan out the last few trips to the ocean. I never asked to speak so easily to the Universe or to the deceased. I never expected any of this to be the way it is. It all comes as a surprise to me, is what I’m saying. I set out on the path when we split as a way to make it through for myself, for us both. To survive. Not to become,”Mamma twin flame,” as my twin from Singapore calls me. LOL.

I’m sensing you’re in a position where you are frantic. You don’t want to be where you are mentally. All of what you knew is melting away. You have choices, but I only see one good one and it is this.

If you want to repair your mind frame, you have got to look back to and remember the love. Remember allllll of what it was that we had together. The good times, the inability to let go of each other, the infinite love. As a 3d entity, we were taught to protect ourselves. But how are you protecting anything if you choose to focus on the negative?

You look to me, searching frantically to find the key. But it’s within you. And that’s where you will find it. In your mind. In your perception. Make it a daily practice that will seem like a fight at first. How can I reverse these thoughts of when we mirrored badly? Realize that we have traveled a journey, through a mountain to elevate. We are not the same anymore, as we once were. We’re only better.

There’s nothing scary about that. Consider it like going back to infancy. Being absolutely powerless, yet ensconced in love. Protected by the innocence of not knowing negativity. By being a fresh soul. We have got to detach the pain and confusion and conditioning to get back there. And the only way is through perception. You are being protected by a daily choice of love over pain/illusions/fear.

Don’t believe the illusion that we are anything, but love. You knew this to be true when you looked in my eyes. You can go back to this place again. We have no choice but to return to this place and¬†that’s the only way we can survive at this point.

Think of pancakes and snow and dancing in Brooklyn, the badly timed garbage truck, the moon the first night, meeting at our corner, bunny bars, the orange book, the fences, the crying on New Years eve drama (haha), sex until we lost all muscular usage, our selfies and photography, the rooftop brunch, the wedding, the two twin blogs, endless text messages, the worlds best cucumber salad, the way you cut vegetables and the gay banana guy, our future art shows and business endeavors. The gifs, the fox, our mirrored art, shopping together, music playlists, the burnt fish. Everything was cute and is and always will be because it’s us.

The only way for us to move on is to let go of the pain and move back to love.