This is going to be a big blog. I don’t even know where to start this or where to begin.
I think I’ll start it backwards.
It has taken me 39 years to figure out what a relationship is. It only became clear after the last person I met during separation taught it to me. For years I had expectations of people to do this or that. That we had to go places and hold hands and be romantic and just be cool with each other, but that is not the full story. The reason I know is because I had to learn it from a very long distance, without ever meeting the person. We barely have even spoken more than a sentence or two into a recording mic.
I deal with my collaborator who lives in Chile, daily, at first for work purposes, but now it has become to share art and sometimes music. We’re very good friends. I see something artsy that has our style, I send it to him and vice versa. He doesnt even speak English and I don’t speak Spanish and I think this was done by the Universe on purpose. Everything we type has to be translated. And he always talks about “nuestra conexion del arte”/” our art connection” and it is obvious it is very solid. We have a strong art relationship.
We share, openly and freely and honestly, without expectations to stress the relationship. We trust each other because we share a cloud account, not to do anything weird with the other’s work. Although ours isn’t romantic, this is what a real relationship is. This is what a real connection is. How much and how deeply you share only intensifies the bond. Sharing is love. Openness is love. Honesty is love.
My twin and I had this licked on every platform and way possible before we went into bad mirroring. And now were going back into sharing on many levels, in a respectable way. As we feel comfortable, we are working back into a sharing relationship built with love in mind, without fear to mar the connection. And I think about all of my true and tight connections and relationships and they have this type of pattern. I’ll share anything with those people not only because I trust them, but because I know they are interested in what I have to say.
There are many elements to this that I want to point out.
-You must be grateful and show that you are grateful for the connection or it will dwindle. Admiration and respect are also key to this.
-There must be a natural balance to the sharing or it will imbalance and become one sided.
-There needs to be some type of commonality within interests. Then you can both share your perception of that “thing.” This is probably why I talk to so many twins, it interests us all.
It hit me so hard yesterday morning as he and I share nice words when the other is down. I don’t have to meet him or any of my twins to feel connected. I am very connected to all of you from us just sharing stories and texts and emails. And this is real. You have never met me, but I appreciate all of you for all of your help and nice words. This is real connection. This is what a relationship is.
All of these years and I just figure this out now.
As my twin and I reunion, we are comparing stories and working thru the leftover wrinkles of perception. Separation is so long because of the breaking of old conditioning and also your shifting perception. Each side does and has to work on their imbalances so that the energy in the couple can balance. The energy has to even out and you will find as you go through separation, you become calmer and calmer as you go through it because you are accepting of what is the now.
Now realize, if before there was a problem, those problems still must be ironed out through talking and compromising. I find that both of us had many delusions/illusions brought on by fear that didn’t exist, but seemed like they were threats. I also find that many of the delusions we had, they were invented through the filter of our insecurities. Like if I think it, he will do it. So I have to watch what I focus on. Now that insecurities have dwindled, our perception is much more realistic of the other one.
Sometimes the energy does fall off balance and you both have to reconnect to discuss what these imbalances are. Open and honest sharing/communication is of utmost importance during this time.If before you were to fly off the handle, now, you probably won’t and will take a night to think it out. Or two. That’s OK. Keep balancing.
There were many things on my side that I had to learn to understand how to deal with the energy of our connection, since it is so strong. As we both say,”We don’t go slow, we never did.” It is instantaneous and non-stop. But now I find we take more breathers, so that’s good. It balances us out and makes us appreciate the connection more.
If we are twins, if we have adhered exactly to the stages to a T, then we have to learn to trust that the rest of the stages will unfold magically and naturally, as the Universe sees it fit. Then, if you do trust it, trust the Universe and it’s unfolding of miracles, there is nothing to stress about. You can’t even lose twins/soulmates through death, they always come back to find you. They can always sense you. And as twins, you will come back together once you have worked on those imbalances in the energy. The frantic, clingy energy that you may exhibit as a twin fresh into separation will fade within a year or two. By this time, you will feel much more at ease, based on all of the energy your twin sends and the signs that you see. And also how much your perception has shifted from a place of lack to a place of abundance.
I think a big part of getting through separation, besides detaching from your twin to focus on yourself is learning how to become a happy person, even in bad times. And separation is THEE FUCKING WORST time you will ever live through in your whole damn life. I woke up everyday, for the most part and was like, “Dude, really? Stillllll? Still I have to deal with this?” I am super grateful that my twin is back so that I don’t have to wake up to think that one sentence. But I learned during this time to focus on the good and happy and positive despite being alone everyday. Even in conversation or theories about why things happen, there is always a silver lining. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. Even the bad.
I realized there is no such thing as bad, or evil or negative. Just confusion from love. Fear-based training care of mom and dad and the rest of society. Which is why we go thru crazy ninja training in separation to turn those frowns upside down. I can be swarmed by bugs, have what the norm would consider a catastrophe to happen, break something, get into an accident, hurt myself by accident and laugh at all of this when before it would emotionally quell me.I don’t even get sick anymore, really. But if we break out of those fear-based beliefs and embrace that everything is in perfect place and does happen for a reason, it makes it much easier to go with the flow.
You learn very early in separation that you have no control over anything, but yourself. You can’t control people or their thoughts or actions. Instead, it is through self-control that we influence the world to become a better place. To surge the energy higher. Even to understand why your twin ran off with someone else for the time that they did. They had to, to be able to get back to you. They had to learn their lessons too.
There is total forgiveness in this type of unconditional love and yes, you can practice it with your non-twin friends too. No one is perfect, everyone is exactly as they are and as they were taught. Fear dwindles within relationships the more honest you become, the more love you have and give, because then it gets mirrored. If I am straight with you about who I am, then there is nothing you can do about it, but eat it. That’s who I am. That’s not going to change. Not saying the fear-based parts can stay, but the core soul will remain the same, just vibrate higher with more love.
So many of us chasers felt rejection from our twins while in separation. I think the idea is to highlight how awesome you are, your talents, the things you are good at, what a great person you are to turn that negativity around. It takes the pain away when we refocus on our strengths and things that we’re good at. It also helps to be realistic about the situation.
Your twin left because of one reason or another. Yet, we give to them at a distance sometimes for YEARS because we feel we should. We rebalance our energy when we focus more on the now, who is with us now, who is grateful for us now. If your twin doesnt want to be there with you, don’t let them. Don’t feel selfish, because you are already imbalanced in the giving while they are not. Instead, do you. The signs drive some of my twin friends nuts, but a sign means nothing if a soul isnt coming right behind it. This was crucial for me and our relationship. I gave up, so to speak and moved forward on other planes. My twin didnt like the energy shutoff and magically came back. It’s not being mean. It’s just being super focused on what you need to do to live a balanced life.
I found that with many twins, most of us feared love. Perhaps we didnt feel good enough for it. My twin will never love me as I am! They will one you balance energetically with them. It happens quite naturally. I feel that love is the light, the web and weaving of all energy and many people fear that connection because it feels overwhelming to be attached to such a high frequency. There is nothing to fear. Love is a beautiful connection between people and elevates them. Love is daily gratitude for what and whom is in your life today.
Separation time goes super fast. Our two years felt like 4 months. Both of us agree on that. That being said, everything been said, just flow. Do what you must.
Last, but not least, the love you and your twin share is real. It never goes away. It is true, unconditional love. You will always love them and they will always love you. Many twins don’t have this knowledge because they werent lucky enough to spend a decent bit of time with their twins. I can vouch for you. It is real. They feel it too. They think about you daily. It is not a hoax. And you will go through the stages as your mind can break down the fake illusions and accept what reality is. How simple it is. How little there is to fear.
Everything in reunion feels natural because we both want it. We both want to make this work. It’s very powerful thing when both sides work to make a relationship work. Sharing, honesty, openness are essential in getting us all there.