Originally posted on tfhopeandhealing.tumblr, this blog with added advice.
Now I get it! This week we have been going thru the doubting stuff again. Hence half my blog being deleted last night.
I’ll break it down because I find it interesting.
I have a fear about something, subconsciously and not even realizing it. Even the smallest thing that I wouldnt think was obvious.. I express it to him. He hears it and has his own internal interpretation over it. Then spits out his own fear to mirror my behavior. And of course being a counsellor on this topic, I tell him not to be fearful, not realizing on my side is where that fear started.
But if I look at this whole month, it has been a month already, as long as we are focusing on the love and the connection and truly trusting it, then this fear doesnt come up. It didnt for the first few weeks. And so then what do you do when these types of mirroring events happen? See that you are the beginning point of it, step back, examine and throw it away. Really attempt to relax and feel the love internally. I was coaching a twin this morning on it and it hit me: “DEBBIE, RELAX! See the connection. Stop making a big deal over things because that will rip us up more. Focus on the love!”
My behaviors are much different than Jake and Debbie are Twin Flames Pt. 1. Of course now I’m seeing the fears I have put out for him to mirror over the past week. They stand out like sore thumbs because then on his end, I get RESISTANCE. If he hurls a fear back at me, I give him resistance and tell him to lighten up.
This is going to take as long as it does and I’m not so worried like before. It will go back and forth until we practice showing love and only love. Which most humans arent naturally trained to do.
I wanna give a shout out to all twins I have been talking to this week. You all calm me. And also to those who reblogged my tf stuff. Thanks or it would be gone. ❤
If you feel like you are being attacked by your twin, you HAVE GOT TO walk away from it and stop it in someway. If you have done some work with yourself, you know not to react to it. And at times, that is hard when someone is attacking you. You have to not only sheild yourself from it and process what your twin is fearing, but also have to NOT REACT. You have to learn how to be soothing to stop it. Or just put your foot down and say, Im not dealing with this.
The fear came from you and will keep mirroring back and forth between you, otherwise.
Let me point out, they DONT MEAN TO attack you. This is a natural defense system set up to ward off pain/attacks. Say hi to the ego, everyone! No one wants to attack anyone. But they do so under enough duress.
If you have been through mirrored fear, you understand how painful and shitty it can be. It is the primary reason why twins separate. But underneath that fear is all the love. It never went anywhere. You just have to shift perception.
Each twin group has their own fears, on each side. One twin will fear apples, bees and being stuck in a relationship and the other will fear toothpicks, tigers and ugly underwear. Whatever. Realize that the things that you bring up to fight with your twin about before separation are YOUR FEARS that YOU must EXORCISE. I understood most of my fears and did an amazing amount of work on them to have them silently pass away. Fears are illusions, not in line with love. Not in line with your TRUE feelings.
Keep reshifting focus back to the love. Keep pics, look at the pics, think about your behaviors, work on breaking false core beliefs/emotional instability. It is not as scary as you think. Once you break the belief, it no longer exists. Odd thing that I notice is that if I no longer care about it, he no longer does it.What does that tell you? It was an illusion the whole time.
None of us are perfect. No one. We all have stuff we can work on. Any resistance or fear will show you that you are not coming from a place of love, essential in tf unions.
My Help in Separation page has a great website link at the bottom to help you break your false core beliefs, assist you in understanding how to heal emotional wounds. There are a lot of free podcasts made specifically to understand fear, fear of love and how to deal with emotions on there to help.