Many times you will hear a twin say, ” You must focus on yourself.” It gets embedded in your consciousness. But you hear it so many times that it would often lead me to an open space of nothingness. Work on me? What? I do it all the time!
So, instead of saying that, I would like you to make a daily intention and keep that as your focus. The intention has to be greater than the pain you feel so that it uplifts you. It should be a passionate desire of sorts, something that will be productive or just help you relax.
At first, as you are in early separation, you really don’t want to do anything. I remember well. But life goes on and at one point, you must begin to flow again, as well. Making yourself a daily intention redirects the focus back onto what you need or want to do. At first it is slightly uncomfortable because it feels non-routine. But that’s how routines form. You must start somewhere.
If you keep with this exercise and do it daily, you will begin to form confidence in your abilities to get things done. It will also help you move through the conduit of time that we as twins know as separation. Daily intentions can start small, can be anything. But make it a practice to carry them out.
When you are focusing on getting work done, doing something you love, you are taking the attention off of the negative feeling you’re experiencing. The twins and I had many a conversation about this awhile back. And we have discovered that distraction is the best form of getting through this rough early stage of obsessing about your twin.
The pain will still be there until you work through it, but this is a good way to minimize it’s intensity so that you can handle it during it’s peak time. It takes time to understand what needs to be healed. This is more like a calming agent to relax you enough to keep going while learning all of the lessons that you will endure.
I hope this works for you all. I still do this daily and it helps me recenter my focus.