I never talk about this, but I keep getting signs that I should.
Many twins going through Dark Night and/or out of it definitely contemplate this idea.
This is a fervent as the question I get asked often,”How do you know that my twin is going to come back?”
Because you told me they would.
We get down. And I’m not talking urban cuteness. Like twerking in a basement while drinking a cocktail. No. We get really DOWN. So down that it seems like the only answer would be to off ourselves.
Well, we can’t. Why? Because if you do, you have to not only come back again and relearn the lessons, but also you will have to go and find your twin again. Not to say you can’t. You can do whatever your heart desires. I could easily take a gorgeous machete and drain my blood from my neckline in some luxurious fashion. MY CHOICE. “Then I don’t have to worry about all of this fuckin shit!” Right?
You do. Like you started from square one, but with no memory of it. And then you will also have to worry about becoming a ghost and stalking your twin and his wife and kids and friends. Because death doesnt separate you. Nothing can separate you!
Your best bet instead is to listen to the advice of my missing friend Scott,”Just BE,” he told me the weekend I told him I was tired of playing this game. “Just exist. You don’t have to mount stress or fear or struggle or anything. Just take time for yourself.”
Many twins attribute their problems to their twin and not to their own selves. Any thought you have is your responsibility. If you are in a bad place, who has to pull you out? YOU. And get used to it because you will have to do it repeatedly through out most of separation. Keep escaping the bad place. But do it in a healthy way. Don’t keep escaping by pulling yourself further down with drugs or alcohol or other addictions. No, you can focus on being productive and actually making a life out of escaping your bad place in a healthy way.
I have a few twins that I talk to that are certain they won’t see their twins in this lifetime again and that is because they have chewed up their life stick down to nothing. There is little time for them. Even some that pretend they are doing fine and wouldnt do it will do it. They are going to have to prepare for the reunion in the next life. Like booking a really complex vacation. But perhaps this was already written for them too.
If you feel suicidal, go to sleep. You will feel better in the morning. If you don’t. Call a friend or someone you can talk to who will remind you what you are living for.
My twin and I already cemented the pact that if he’s out, so am I. In a few very short months we made many pacts. We are going to die together. We already know that. We don’t want to live without each other. But die in separation? I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO.
I’ve done far too much work in my life to stop now. And I’m not saying I’ll be kicking and screaming on my way out. It will be perfect, I promise you. But that is very far in the future. I have far too much to live for and so do you.
There’s nothing worse in any spiritual way than to live while your twin has passed. That is the most unbelievable pain that we’ve both had to endure in previous lifetimes. And having a twin friend who has had to deal with it, I can’t think of anything worse.
So really absorb this blog please. There seems to be a spike in this topic on my boards and I beg you to really rethink it if you are in this position. Things will get better. They always do.
Kinda like the Oracle saying to Neo in the Matrix,”Take a cookie. I promise, by the time you’re done eating it, you will be right as rain.”