I was sent back down to the ocean tonight. On the way down, almost there, I asked her, “How many mo..” She said, in my voice, “7 months.” She didnt even let me finish.
I go to the ocean and said, “Ok, honey, I’m home!”
She said nothing and I walked for a bit.
I said, “Well, I’m just gonna ask you since I have nothing really left to say right now. How long will it be until I hear from him?” “She replied,”April.” I said..”Really?!” And then I said, “Could it be sooner than that?” And she replies in my sultriest voice,
“It depends on what you believe…”
I just posted a blog on one of my tf Tumblrs today which I read maybe a few months back and it’s called, “These three words will bring your twin back.” And those three words are I Support You. I mulled all of this over quickly and the final puzzle piece is this:
I believe in, I trust in and I love my twin.
I believe in, I trust in and I love myself.
It makes total sense and if we didnt go through what we did in separation, it would have never been so clear. The moment I stopped worrying about his antics and the anons, I could feel my love for him again. Why? Because I refused to focus on the negative and focused on the positive. I pushed the fear away, the illusions away, and the love came flooding back. Which is also why I insisted that I stay offline for a bit so the bad mirroring could stop just long enough for us both to breathe.
I said, “So that’s it” It really is that. That is it. That is the final piece to this whole crazy relationship. Of course, if we haven’t worked on our behaviors, our addictions, our emotional responses and our overwhelming egos, none of this would be possible to see. So it has to all go in the right order. Which is why I insist there are twin flame separation stages.
The one stage I see very blatantly with many twins is the “My twin is not really my twin.” separation stage. I never had that problem. I always knew he was the one. I had other problems instead that faded as time went on. Many others don;t realize, but come to find out within about a month that they can’t push their twin away in denial. It just doesnt work and it will come back in a wave of love and you will know they are.
So, the blonde Texan was right. There is a sliding scale to this. The sliding scale has everything to do with your growth. How fast you attend to breaking those false core beliefs I speak of so often. How fast you keep ripping through those illusions that are keeping you apart. The quicker you attend to breaking the fear-based emotional response cycle.
I felt like I was going to faint almost. I looked at the ocean and it began to move in slow motion. And then I began to cry.
I’ve gotten my answer and I’m done searching.
I could say to you the moment you hit separation that this is what you must do, but you will not be ready. You must arrive at this in your own time.
And as I type this last sentence Nat King Cole comes on singing,”It wouldnt be make believe if you believe in me.”
I can’t even make this shit up.