The lights in your eyes

Ah, she’s so bright. She keeps showing me the way.

About nine months ago I gave up magic spells because I realized, I didnt need to do them. That I had absolutely no control over anything. And she and I wrested. And like I had this happen once before as a drunk 19 year old, she pinned me to the ground and I said,” OK, OK, you win.”

I can’t manipulate anything except the energy flowing off of myself. We can only control ourselves. And I keep that at 100,000 % unless I’m sick and then it’s one quarter of that.

I had to let a twin flame go this week. I feel bad. She wasn’t listening to my advice and kept going in circles and I just don’t have the time or effort to watch you drown yourself. Nor you sass me and tell me you know how to control yourself when you don’t or that you fixed all your behaviors when clearly,..Case in point: back to square one again w her every two months. I file her as “gonna have to save herself.”

I can only do so much. Consider me a distant hug and a shoulder to cry on. But you keep going back to the abuser and keep crying to me you got punched again. Like, c’mon!

Cassie brought up that I need to tag these blogs to find them easily and I will put that on my list of stuff to take care of as well as “Strange things that happen” needs to be revised.

I find with twins, they come to me or I go to them and we work out so many problems and I am sent away. Like they really don’t need me any further, they have relinquished certain problems and are free. As am I. This is good. More twins keep coming into the circle. I’m here to help those that need help. And will take some form of action.

Very interesting that I’ve found my cats to be exactly what I needed as far as an education for me to deal with this better. The one cat is voracious and will attack anything (me) and the other is gentle and wouldn’t come near me for 6 months. (my twin.) Both need love, but forms of love are different. The cat that has taught me the most is more like my twin. Dealing with fear in a cat is perfect for this. Baron is her name.

And Baron was so flipped out by my method of catching her that she would hide under furniture for 5 months straight. So I just stopped chasing her. And then I would be on the phone on speaker and she would walk over to my bed and try to see what was going on. And run away. And I found a toy that calmed her. And she will now mush this toy with her head. But I had to be holding it for her to advance towards me. To feel safe. I could see what she was thinking and the toy was almost a fantasy. It’s a fluffy feather toy with bells, so it goes after three senses (sight, sound and touch) as well as smell because her mother would always chew it. OK, now we’re getting places.

Animals like routine and so I have a routine, Baron being the slow one, I call her and it takes her a half hour to come down stairs (ha ha bunny) And we do an early morning sit and pet (4-5:30 am) and a 9:30 pm one. If I’m out, it’s later, but the idea is solid. This came into solidification after I went on vacation and I was missing for 5 days. They were quite lovey dovey when I got back.

Now the other cat, Daddy, who is a girl, long story, educates me with her hunting style. Men are hunters, we all know. They have to make 650 different plans to catch it and think about it before it can just be frickin’ caught. Women aren’t like this. We want something, we just grab it. Men dont find this mentality fun at all. So I let her hunter ways teach me. She goes completely apeshit if she can’t catch something or if it hides, she will sit next to where it is hiding. FOR HOURS. But if I just shove it near her or in her face, she is not interested whatsoever.

Cats, who knew.

I’m going to let go of the last part of this blog for now. I will write it another day.

Last pieces that I need to mention:

I have to be vague as anything I write gets mirrored and so I will keep my life as private as possible. There’s a few things I’d like to discuss that I can’t on here. But instead, let me make a go to list for those without their twin who are bugging..

Remember

  1. My twin loves me more than anyone else in the world.
  2. This understanding calms me
  3. This understanding releases me from judgment and fear
  4. I am eternal and infinite
  5. I am not what I was taught, I am always learning and I forgive myself for things I have done and things my twin has done in the past.
  6. I do not base how I feel about my twin on egotistical judgments and fear, but love and acceptance.
  7. Higher and higher and higher and higher and higher: that’s where were going and I look forward to all that life brings to me.
  8. I will not fall back on useless routines that have proven negative or stunting.
  9. Each day is a day closer to you: to my twin and to universal knowledge.
  10. I am love. My twin is love. We are all connected. We all love each other.
  11. I am a happy person that is excited about what is to come next.

We need that light. When each day passes and many are heavy, we need to remember who we really are. Energetic forms of light and love. Not the negativity or silly notions of evil.

Cheers and have a great night.

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