I have so much to write that it’s almost impossible to contain the whole thing. This is usually when the website won’t open/my computer acts up/a random comet hits my house and my power goes out and I need to write a blog across the street at the old neighbors house. Or my cat decides it’s time to scratch in the litter box for 20 minutes, ending up taking a mean #2. “Mom, I know you had words dripping out of your brain, but here, I made you a present first.” There is even something in this situation, the one where you need something and no matter what, it just will not come to you. But we’ll discuss this later.
I’ve been talking to twins online since the day we “broke up” last year to find what I needed to so that I could get through this. And I’ve found many twins that helped me through and are still helping me form a picture with their experiences. I always wondered how so many twins could be so blase to it and not care. They were fine and I was not. I wanted to be OK again. It took me about 8 months to be OK again.
This is so super important to me for a few reasons, but mostly, it totally enthralls me that so many of us can have the same experiences and have to go through the same type of growth. I’ve come to find a lack of twin counselors and so I may head down that road. (There are no twin flame schools yet, but hey..maybe one day.) I feel like I should help others in this because I remember quite well where I was when I began separation and it almost seems like there is a need for orientation specialists or people who can get you through the separation stages quicker.
There are stages within separation and each one tells you not only what stage you are in, but how far you have come or need to go. Separation has onion layers, very much like anything else that is interesting. I have been talking to twins on many sites and I’ve found out some new stuff along with understanding the gradation to the stages.
Stages we know a TF relationship are as follows:
2/3. Testing and crisis
5. Surrender to God/Universe/Source
6. Illumination/Dropping ego
But I believe there are many small stages within separation that aren’t discussed. These are rudimentary as I’m still sketching them based on information coming in from other twins as they experience it and also myself as I go through it.
1. Pain/Hurt/Anger/Denial of being a twin flame. First stage of separation is the ugliest. The worst. Shit hits the fan. Your twin is being impossible and mean and not treating you right. Little do you know this is because neither of you are treating yourself or your twin right. You don’t know that yet though. But this isn’t your fault. This was meant to happen, everything that happened between you was meant to happen. You are a human and we make mistakes which will be forgiven. You just want to cry and die. Some begin to question whether they are really twins because they didnt have enough time together to come up with a definite answer. Your regular friends don’t know how to help you.
2. Discussion/obsession/information absorption/questioning– I think this is hard because these stages can be somewhat blurred and often overlap. (Yes, sometimes, you waver between progression and walking backwards into what feels safe.) You are constantly thinking about your twin but you are gathering information to survive. You absorb what feels right, what feels good. Other twins are trying to help you because they either went through it or they are going through it with you. “What the fuck? Why are they so crazy?” is usually what ends up getting exchanged. Meanwhile you are absorbing at an alarming rate. Information is coming in. You are thinking questions over and over. What if we did this? Why did I care about this? Could I live with this in the future? Why don’t they love me enough to…You’re probably stalking them. It’s OK, theyre probably stalking you back.
3. Time passes enough to “move on”/”working on yourself” If you are a twin, you understand that there is no such thing as ‘moving on,’ it is just allowing the other to do their thing while you do yours. They arent coming back anytime soon and the longer they are away, the more you think, ‘I dont even want them back.’ And you mean it. Because you cant see how two very broken pieces become a whole again. You’re not supposed to yet. You’re still pissed. Plus they are still pushing your buttons from a distance. You’re supposed to “work on yourself.” At this point, your regular, non-twin friends are clueless as of how to help and probably think you’re insane. You are moving into stage 5- “surrender” There was a turning point for me to highlight and that was “My twin is not fine by himself. I am his queen and will always be. I can never be moved from that position. He will always miss me.”
When you realize how much you are a part of this, as much as they are, things change drastically. ‘Not good enough’ no longer works.
4.”Nothing ever changes” You’re calm and existing and things feel like they move slowly but you are learning multitudes of lessons each day and most of it comes from your mind. You have entered surrender. You can’t do anything, you are powerless to control others and you REALLY understand this concept. This is what makes you turn inward and look at all of the fun things you that have repelled your twin and how you wish to change them if you hope for saving yourself and also a reunion with your twin. Do you want to live or live well? You may attempt dating people, but nothing sticks. You still question everything.
5. Spiritual journey- you begin to realize you are not what you have been taught. You are so much more than that. You are infinite and the beauty surrounds you. You are never alone and have so many awesome friends who support and love you. Soulmates begin to emerge. Psychic ability increases. The line between human and energy form blurs and you are often looking for new, exhilarating experiences. You begin undoing the hurts to heal them. You see through others pain, including yours and your twins. This is when I began talking to the afterlife quite easily. It was just there.
6. Non-resistance and constant flow. I’m not sure how I left surrender and fell into illumination but I did. Ego is not so important and you often check yourself to not use it. It’s so ingrained in you that it’s like a snap-back behavior that you have to quell. That’s stage 6 in regular twin flame stages too. Maybe it was that I could group everything into love or fear and if it wasnt love, it was probably fear. I began taking the advice of twin friends that I needed to focus solely on myself so strongly that nothing else could exist. I made a pact that I would not allow any negativity or tension in my life. If there was resistance, it couldn’t stay. It wasnt meant to. Many fine people have had to leave my life because of this. But it’s OK. I also began trusting the plan, the stages, the process, the Universe and as I focused more on myself and less on my twin’s actions. I could feel his love. It’s not the actions you feel, it’s the energy you feel. Energy speaks louder than actions.
You will know when your twin hits stage 6. The runner’s ego will be dissolved, finally, and they will reach out and “be able to talk again.”
When I got to the last stage of this I no longer felt fear or sadness. I feel happy and excited about life. You realize that it’s a choice. You make the choice to be happy instead of choosing lower-vibration/fear-based thoughts. I see so many opportunities, so much energy, so many more beautiful things than I was trained to. I am no longer who I used to be. That’s the point.
I have had a very bumpy ride trying to explain to twins in early stages what to expect and what they are going through because they don’t feel it and just arent there yet. It’s difficult to talk to and try to coach a twin in early 4 from a stage 6. They’re just not ready for that type of “love mentality.” I have twin friends getting into separation stating their twin “began blocking them on social media and is lying to them.” I was like..NO WAY!! (Yea, mine did the same.) I have twins that have married twins that are treating them like doormats. Well, why are you trying to get with a married person? Have self respect! They are married/being unavailable to you. Walk away. If there is any type of disrespect, walk away now, because it only gets uglier. On both sides.
The mirror is always there. It’s just part of the stages. People take it personally when their twin does this stuff. Over time you begin to see that none of this is really them. It’s their ego protecting them from ego filled early stage you. Over time, both twins get smarter, break past conditioning and refill full of love. Otherwise this would never work.
But it does. The stages are like a constitution for twins. My twin and I in my kitchen, crying and hugging when we read the stages,” I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU!!” Yes, we would. We had to. Over and over, it must happen so each twin gets stronger or this truly would not work.
If you are in separation, think of it this way.. just a day closer to you and your twin coming back together. That’s all. Like no time has passed.
What is time anyway?